You're Crashing, But You're No Wave
by Jennie-x
Summary: Everything Changes over Summer. Including Ryan. Dark Ryan angst fic. Troy/Ryan Ryan/OMC In my head I've stopped thinking that these lovely boys belong to disney!
1. Chapter 1

**This is a dark fic and way too emo for disney. I was inspired when I watched the clip of Lucas Graabel in 'The Real Son' On YouTube so if any of you is having trouble imagining Ryan as an Emo just watch that and that's what he looks like in this fic. Let me know what you think :) x**

_You're Crashing, But You're No Wave _

When school started again there wasn't the constant excitement of what everyone did that summer. There was excitement; but for a different reason. Everyone was talking about the Evans, not that that in itself was unusual but what they were talking about, that was the cause for the excitement. Troy and Chad were at their lockers when they finally found out what the buzz was about, the door opened and a lot of the kids around the entrance had stopped talking. Troy and Chad exchanged looks with each other and then at the boy who had walked through the doors.

"Ryan?" Chad stuttered. Ryan, the twin brother of Sharpay was walking towards them and he didn't look anything like he did before the holidays. The blond hair that was always groomed perfectly beneath glittery hats was now shaggier and not to mention jet black. That wasn't the only thing about him that had changed, the bright colours that often reflected his bright attitude towards life now consisted of tight grey skinny jeans and a black tight fitted tee.

"Hey," He smiled towards Chad who was looking at him with a curious look.

"You look..." Troy started, but he couldn't find the words. Sure enough, he did look hot, like really hot but he wasn't going to admit that. Ryan just smiled shortly. Chad looked at Troy and then back at Ryan.

"So not that it's any of our business but what's up with the new look?" Chad finally asked. Ryan just shrugged.

"Start of something new?" He laughed. "That was cheesy wasn't it," both Troy and Chad laughed. "Oh well. I've got to run got a meeting with the principal," With that the new and in Troy's eyes definitely improved Evans headed away.

"Wow." Chad laughed. "Is it totally wrong that I thought he looked kinda..."

"Hot?" Troy finished.

"I was going to say 'emo' but hot works too." Chad laughed. "I mean not that I'm gay or anything, I'm with Taylor and everything..."

"Chad it's fine, I know you're not gay. Don't need to go on about it forever man." Troy smirked.

"Are you and Gabriella still fighting?" Chad asked as they walked towards their home room.

"Yeah, I don't know what's going on with us man." Troy sighed. "I think the flames just gone you know?"

"Fires don't last forever man, but maybe it will light back up again."

"Maybe," Troy sighed.

They reached their home room and sat in their normal seats, Sharpay was sat at the front dressed in pink, Chad and Troy looked over at her both curious and frightened to ask what was going on with the twins. As it was the first day back, home room ran on for an extra hour much to their dislike. For the first ten minutes Mrs Darbus rattled on about musicals and other events that were taking place this year. But then there was a knock at the door and they all looked up at as the boy in black entered the room.

"Ryan!" Sharpay squealed as she stood up, her voice high with a mixture of concern and anger. Ryan however didn't look at her, instead he made an extra effort not to notice her at all.

"Sorry I'm late, had a meeting with..."

"It's fine Mr Evans, we were just talking about the musical take a seat." Ryan sat down next to Troy as it was the only spare seat, he propped his bag on the table and rested his arms on his backpack.

"Ryan!" Sharpay shouted again.

"Miss Evans, that's enough." Mrs Darbus snapped. Chad and Troy, and the rest of the class all exchanged looks, all curious as to what was going on with the twins.

"Ryan please, I'm sorry okay..." Sharpay for once didn't listen to Mrs Darbus instead she marched straight up to her brother and stood in front of his desk. He stared at her and then rolled his eyes.

"Always one for the dramatics right, Shar?" Ryan said in a bored monotone voice. "You're making a fool of yourself."

"No, I'm trying to apologise." Sharpay shouted. "What is wrong with you?"

"I said that's enough!" Mrs Darbus shouted. The whole class just stared between Mrs Darbus and the twins. "Mrs Evans, I am fully aware of what is going on and I must remind you that this is a class room, not a place for you to sort out your family problems. Now please take a seat." Ryan smirked at his twin and then turned his head he saw Troy staring at him with a confused expression. Sharpay stormed back over to her seat and sat down. Mrs Darbus looked at Ryan with concern and then started to talk again.

Troy watched Ryan throughout the lesson, when Mrs Darbus spoke about the musical Ryan didn't pay any attention instead he pulled out a notebook and started to doodle aimlessly. There was half an hour left, and Mrs Darbus had finished with what she had to say. So she said that her students could talk between themselves.

"You okay?" Troy asked Ryan. He couldn't deny that Ryan looked extremely hot, his black hair highlighted his pale face and bright eyes, which if Troy looked closely he'd be able to see a faint line of black eye liner.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ryan smiled weakly.

"You sure?" Troy asked, because behind how beautiful and amazing he looked. Troy could tell there was pain there too. Sharpay stormed over again the minute Mrs Darbus left the room.

"You know what you're doing to the family Ryan?" She shouted. Ryan shook his head in anger and pushed himself up from his chair and stood face to face with his twin. "Mum and dad are..."

"Complete and utter bastards for what they said to me!" Ryan said cutting his sister off. "You can live in your perfect little bubble with them. I'm not welcome there and I don't want to be."

"You can't blame them..."

"Really because right now I blame them for everything that happened over the summer!" Ryan screamed. "You've no fucking idea do you Shar. You're so used to everything going your way. Every once in a while you should step out into the real world, because not everything smells like roses and not everything revolves around you. One day when you find that out and you really need your twin, don't you dare come to me." Ryan shouted, he pushed Sharpay out of the way, grabbed his bag and left the class room banging the door loudly.

"Sharpay, are you okay?" Troy asked softly. Sharpay shook her head and for the first time ever the class saw the ice queen break down into tears in the basketball players arms.

Chad and Troy stayed with Sharpay till she stopped crying, they saw how shaken up she and Ryan was and they were both determined to find out what was wrong. Chad because he considered Ryan and Sharpay to be his friends, and Troy because he saw the real pain behind Ryan's eyes and he wanted to make him okay again. He wanted to see the smile that made his insides feel all warm again. He wanted the old Ryan back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Please continue to let me know what you think. Next update - tonight. **

Ryan hated the looks he was getting, he knew people were judging him from how he acted towards his sister but he didn't care, because they didn't know what was happening. He walked into the canteen and wasn't surprised when a few heads turned in his direction, he rolled his eyes and headed to the vending machine. He looked through his bag till he found his wallet and opened it, he frowned when he saw it was empty.

"Hey," Ryan turned around quickly when he saw Troy standing behind him. "Mind if I..." He gestured to the machine.

"No sure man, go ahead," Ryan smiled, he quickly patted his pockets hoping to feel some form of money in them but sighed when he found none. He smiled at Troy and then went to leave but Troy grabbed hold of his wrist.

"You want me to get you something?" Troy asked.

"No, it's fine." Ryan smiled.

"It's okay, I'll get you something. I leave my money at home all the time." Troy smiled, even though he had seen Ryan's empty wallet, but he didn't want to let Ryan that. "You can pay me back some time."

"Thanks." Ryan smiled.

"So what can I get you?" Troy asked with a grin. When Ryan replied that he wanted a chocolate bar and a bag of crisps he was surprised, Ryan normally ate healthy food he couldn't remember if he had ever seen Ryan eat chocolate.

"Thanks, I'll pay you back," Ryan promised.

"Don't worry about it." Troy smiled. "Coming to sit with us?"

"I was thinking about just going some where else." Ryan replied. "I feel as though everyone is staring at me."

"Want company?" Troy asked.

"What about your friends?" Ryan asked gesturing to Chad, and everyone waiting for them. "And Gabriella."

"I'd rather sit with you," Troy sighed. He couldn't face Gabriella at the moment. Everything just felt a little weird in his head. Ryan smiled and they headed out of the canteen. Troy followed Ryan up the stairs to the roof. He looked out at his home town around them and couldn't help but feel as though nothing else mattered, everything that was going on in his head seemed so small now.

They sat on one of the benches, Ryan sat cross legged his feet tucked under his body. He looked even more pale now in the sun, and Troy just drooled mentally. "So, do you want to talk about it?" Troy asked casually.

"Nothing to talk about," Ryan sighed.

"It's cool if you want, I just figured you might want a friend to talk to, or just have someone to listen."

"I don't need sympathy, Troy." Ryan said sharply.

"I wasn't going to give you any sympathy, Ryan. I was just trying to be a friend." Ryan looked over at Troy who looked at him with a sincere eye.

"Sorry," Ryan sighed. "Just been a hell of a summer."

"What happened?" Troy asked gently.

"I came out to my parents, they threw me out." Ryan laughed bitterly. "They were okay always knowing but never knowing you know. But when I decide to be honest with them, honest with myself I get disowned." Troy could tell that his mouth had fallen open and he knew it probably wasn't the most attractive thing in the world.

"Where are you staying?" Troy asked.

"At my boyfriends," Ryan said but didn't smile. "For now anyway."

"What do you mean for now?" Troy asked genuinely interested.

"Well things aren't easy for us. We have no money, he works all the time and I never see him. He's also cheating on me too, but that's a different story." Ryan looked at Troy and smiled at his expression. "I'm just doing everything he wants so I have a place to stay." Ryan laughed at his words. "I sound like a cheap whore."

"You're not," Troy smiled. "If you ever need a place to stay, Ryan. We've a spare room. And my parents like you, they'll understand."

"I wouldn't want to impose on you Troy." Ryan smiled. "Thanks for the offer though."

"Think about it though, please." Ryan just nodded. "So what's up with the new 'emo' look than?"

"I wanted to wash away everything Evans about me." Ryan shrugged. "What don't you think it looks good?"

"No you definitely look good," Troy said and then blushed at what he said. Ryan smiled warmly at him.

"Enough about me," Ryan sighed. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing, I mean basketball has played a huge part as ever in my life this summer. I keep fighting with Gabriella though."

"How come?" Ryan asked, he was actually surprised at how easily Troy had admitted it to him. Though at the same time he was surprised at how easy it was for him to tell Troy what was going on with him, well at least a bit of it. He still had half of the story to tell.

"I don't know, just not clicking like we used to I guess." Troy shrugged.

"Do you want to break up with her?" Ryan asked.

"I don't know, we've been through a lot." Troy sighed. "It would seem like a waste to just give it up." Ryan thought about it for a second and looked at Troy who looked slightly desperate for a way out of his situation.

"Do you want my advice?" Ryan asked.

"Please." Troy laughed. "I love Chad and all but he's not the guy to go to talk to girls."

"And I am?" Ryan laughed. Troy couldn't help but fall in love with Ryan's laugh. "Anyway. When you went through everything you did, you weren't a couple. Everything that has happened to you was when you were just friends. I think you two make it better as friends then in a couple. I can tell you care a lot about her, but maybe you're just confusing your feelings of friendship with lust hence the arguing and confusion."

"Wow." Troy smiled. "That actually makes sense."

"Course it does," Ryan smiled as he took a bite of his chocolate bar. "This is so good." He laughed.

"So what's your boyfriends name then?" Troy asked.

"Brent," Ryan grinned. "Really hot." He added.

"But he's cheating on you?" Troy asked concerned.

"It's a long story." Ryan sighed. They heard the bell ring signalling the end of lunch. "Catch you later wildcat." Ryan winked and headed down the stairs. Troy watched as he went, he just hoped Ryan would take him up on his offer of staying with him and his parents. He'd talk to his parents when he got in and tell them what's going on. He knew his mum would understand, and the school seemed to know what was going on with the Evans twins too so his dad shouldn't mind either. He'd just have to persuade Ryan.


	3. Chapter 3

The week passed slowly and the school had seemed to move on from the Evans drama, except Sharpay. Troy and Chad were both worried about the younger of the twins as Ryan had seemed to push himself away from everything and everyone. Troy had also taken Ryan's advice and spoke to Gabriella, explaining how he felt. She was upset but agreed that they didn't work as a couple. But now all Troy could think about was Ryan, and it scared him.

"There he is, maybe we should corner him and just get him to smile?" Chad offered. The two had been talking about ways of cheering Ryan up the past week. They had gotten to know the young dancer during the school years and even though they weren't as close as they were with other people, they were still worried.

"I'll go," Troy smiled mainly because he wanted to spend as much time alone with Ryan as possible. "I think he'll open up if it's just me and him." Chad nodded and headed over to Sharpay who was sat on her own.

"Ryan, wait up!" Troy called as Ryan walked past the canteen, he stopped and turned around. Troy stopped dead when he saw him, he looked pale and tired. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine." Ryan shrugged. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to do something tonight," Troy rambled.

"I can't," Ryan mumbled.

"How come?" Troy asked a little disappointed. Ryan looked down and Troy placed an arm on his shoulder squeezing gently.

"Brett... he doesn't like me going out much." Ryan sighed. "Sorry."

"But it's not as though we'd be doing anything, just mates right?" Troy asked a little confused.

"It's complicated." Ryan sighed.

"Well tell me about it?" Troy asked.

"I can't." Ryan said pulling away from Troy's grip.

"I thought we were friends, Ry?" Troy asked, he knew he was giving his best puppy look expression, he just hoped Ryan would give into it.

"I don't need any friends, and I don't need you." With that blunt statement Ryan walked away from Troy, leaving the basketball player feeling as though someone had punched a hole in his heart and ripped it out. Troy wanted to call out to him, but he had lost his voice. Everything around him seemed to be going fast and he was stuck shock still. He hadn't even had Ryan yet but he had already lost him.

The bell rang for the end of the day and after spending the remainder of his lessons zoned out thinking about the blacked haired boy that had broke his heart, Troy was relieved to be free of school. He walked out of the bricked building and caught a glimpse of black hair, he followed him with his eyes and watched as Ryan approached a man. He looked to be in his early twenties, covered in muscles that were hidden behind a dark black top. He was leaning against a black truck. Troy walked closer, not to listen in but to get closer to his truck.

"What are you doing here?" Ryan asked. "I said..."

"I know but I thought I'd drive you to work." Troy frowned, Ryan worked?

"I told you I didn't want to..."

"I know but it'll be okay." The man, Troy assumed was Brett wrapped an arm around Ryan. "I'll be there with you. And it's money right?"

"Yeah but it's cheap and dirty..."

"It's just money." The man hissed and opened the door and Ryan got in silently. Troy headed towards his trucked completely confused. In his mind he was adding up the pieces and he hated to think about the conclusions his thoughts had jumped to.

He got in his truck and drove home. He sat on his bed trying not to think about what Ryan was doing right now. Ryan couldn't be doing... that.

Troy spent the rest of the night not thinking about what he was thinking about and doing homework. His mum called him down to dinner, and asked what was wrong. She also asked about Ryan which didn't help when he was trying and failing and not thinking about him. "I'm worried about him." Troy sighed.

"The school's worried too," His dad put in, Troy looked at him to go into more explanation though he was a little worried that he didn't want to hear it. He didn't want more proof that Ryan was doing... that. "He doesn't show up to most of his classes. He's behind in all his assignments, and they're worried about his well being. I've noticed how drawn back he is."

"So have I." Troy sighed.

Just as they were finishing dinner there was a knock at the door. Troy got up to answer it, Chad normally came around with no invitation but after growing up with him the Bolton's were all used to it. When he answered it he was surprised to see Ryan standing in his doorway. His clothes ringing wet from the rain outside, his face pale and covered in blood.

"Ryan oh my god what happened?" Troy asked, he went to pull Ryan inside but he flinched away. "It's okay, come in I'll get you some dry clothes yeah?" Ryan nodded and stared at the floor. Troy gestured for him to come in, his mum and dad were standing near the door both expecting it to be Chad but when Troy called Ryan's name they both looked up. Once they saw Ryan they both headed over to him.

"Come upstairs yeah, mum could you make some hot tea?" Troy asked when he realised how much Ryan was shaking.

"Yes sure," His mum said she wanted to wrap her arms around Ryan and hold him tightly but she knew that would scare the boy away. She watched as her son delicately led Ryan up the stairs, he made sure not to touch him but was gentle with him non the less.

Ryan stood awkwardly in Troy's bedroom. "Are you hurt?" Troy asked, he couldn't look at Ryan's face it was covered in pain and he suddenly realised what a stupid question that was. Of course he was hurt, his lips were cracked and bleeding he had a bruise forming on his right eye, his nose bloody... Ryan simply nodded. Troy frowned, so far Ryan hadn't said anything to him. He looked through his closet and pulled out his large wildcat hooded sweater that was his favourite comforter, he also grabbed a pair of simple tracksuit bottoms, he also grabbed boxers and warm socks. He handed the clothes to Ryan who stared at them blankly.

"I'll wait outside the room whilst you change," Troy said softly. Ryan looked up at him, fear in his eyes. "Or do you want me to stay?" Ryan nodded again. "Okay, do you need help getting changed?" When Ryan nodded Troy gulped nervously. He had imagined getting Ryan undressed in several ways over the past year, but he had never expected it to be like this.

He unzipped Ryan's jumper and frowned when he saw that he wasn't wearing a tee underneath, the boy must be freezing. Troy headed over to one of his draws and pulled out a tee at random. He looked at Ryan who seemed to have zoned out, just staring at the floor. "I'm going to put the top on you okay." When Ryan nodded weakly in response Troy scrunched the top over his head and Ryan put his arms up with robotic motion, as though he didn't really know what was going on around him. Troy thought it best to put the jumper on as well, as he was still shaking. "Better?" Troy asked as he ran his hands up and down Ryan's now covered arms, the black haired boy simply nodded again.

"Can you do your trousers?" Troy asked. Ryan nodded and pulled down his trousers and Troy tried not to stare at all the bruises or the dry blood around his thighs. "Ryan, who did this to you?" When he didn't answer Troy just gulped. "I'm going to go and get some tissue to clean you up okay..." Ryan nodded and watched as Troy left the room. Troy came back a few minutes later with a warm cloth, "Sit on the bed," Troy said gently, when Ryan did, Troy didn't miss the pained expression on his face.

All the thoughts he had earlier all seemed to make sense now. He cleaned up Ryan's legs, trying not to think about what was mixed in the blood on his legs. Once done, he removed Ryan's underwear not looking at him whilst doing it, he pulled on a pair of his and then the tracksuit bottoms.

"You going to tell me what's going on?" Troy asked gently.

Ryan just stared at the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

"I don't know what happened," Troy said to his parents who were staring at him. Ryan was upstairs on Troy's bed asleep. He hadn't said anything he had just stared at the floor with tired eyes, and once Troy suggested that he go to sleep Ryan looked absolutely terrified, but then Troy said he would sleep next to him and he laid next to him, holding him tightly, within minutes Ryan was fast asleep.

"We should call the police." Troy's dad stated.

"We can't." Troy insisted. "He's too scared, he wont talk to me he wont talk to the police dad."

"Maybe we should call his parents?" Troy's mum suggested.

"No. they threw him out, mum. He doesn't want anything to do with them." Troy sighed. "He's my friend, I'll look after him."

"But if what you're saying is true we need to take him to the police... he's been..."

"We can't take him to the police not yet mum. I'll talk to him tomorrow, please just tonight can't he just stay here?"

"Course he can, son. That's not what we're saying." His dad sighed. "You know he can stay here as long as he needs. But if he's been violated or hurt the police should be called."

"Tomorrow." Troy insisted. "For now I'm going upstairs to make sure he's okay." Troy headed up to his room. He opened the door silently and noticed that Ryan was fast asleep. He looked tiny hidden beneath the covers, his face was pale and his bruises were shining from his features. Troy grabbed his bottoms, and a clean tee and got dressed for bed quickly. He sat on his bed and wrapped an arm around Ryan, instantly he wrapped himself around Troy burying his head in the crook of his neck.

"You'll be okay, Ry." Troy promised as he ran his hand through Ryan's hair. "I'll look after you."

Troy wasn't sure what the time was all he knew was that he was being forced from sleep by someone kicking him, pushing him... he woke up quickly when he realised it was Ryan. The young boy was pushing against the covers still in his state of sleep.

"Ry, it's okay..." Troy said sleepily, he looked over at the clock it was just past two in the morning. When Ryan made no effort of hearing him or waking up, Troy gently shook his shoulder. That seemed to work as the movements he was making were more drastic, Troy knew he'd have a bruise on his chest later from where Ryan had shoved him. It took five minutes and a few more punches and kicks before Ryan woke up screaming.

"Hey, Shh, you're okay..." Troy said calmly. Ryan blinked big blue eyes and stared at Troy, sweat covered his forehead and he tried to focus his vision. "You want some water?" Troy asked, when Ryan nodded he handed him the glass of water from his side, Ryan drank it greedily holding the glass with shaking hands. "Are you okay?" Ryan nodded. "Don't lie, you're far from okay." Troy sighed. Ryan just stared at the covers. "Please let me help you," Troy said he was suddenly very much awake.

Ryan looked at him and reached out for him, when Troy wrapped his arms around him Ryan stiffened, his body became tense in his arms and Troy wondered if this was what holding a statue felt like. After a few moments, Ryan seemed to loosen up a bit and he held Troy back just as tight. "I just want to help you," Troy whispered in his ear. Ryan looked at him with scared eyes before resting his head on his shoulder. "Is it really that bad that you can't tell me about it?" Ryan just nodded. Troy figured Ryan was just in shock, he would start to talk in a few days maybe. "My parents they want to go to the police..." Ryan tenses in his arms again, and Troy hoped maybe that would cause him to speak, but Ryan just stared at him with those big beautiful, broken eyes shaking his head violently. "I told them no, too." Troy said, this seemed to calm Ryan down again. "I said that you'd talk to me first, are you going to tell me what happened?" Ryan didn't respond. "Was it Brett?" At the name Ryan became the statue again. Troy held him tighter and started to play with his black hair.

"I like this colour of your hair, it suits you." Troy said casually changing the subject, he knew it worked when Ryan relaxed in his hold. "You've always had this aura about you. I've always envied you're happiness, you always seemed as though life was perfect. But now, I want to make your life perfect again." Ryan looked up at Troy with tears in his eyes. "Am I being too sappy?" Troy smiled when Ryan nodded slowly. "Do you want to go back to sleep?" Ryan shook his head and Troy wondered if he was scared that the nightmares would come back if he closed his eyes, he knew that they probably would and he didn't want Ryan to be scared in his sleep too. "How about we watch a film?" Ryan nodded. "Want to pick?" Ryan shook his head.

Troy went to move away from Ryan, but the black haired beauty held onto him tightly and Troy took his hand in his and they headed to the bookshelf that held all his films. Troy smiled as his hand was linked with Ryan's, their fingers sending secret messages to each other and Troy couldn't think of something that had felt more right. Ryan pointed to a film with his left hand and Troy smiled and decided that is what they would watch. Ryan refused to let go of Troy's hand as he set the DVD player up, and when they got into bed they snuggled against each other. Troy could get used to this, he just wished it was because of a different reason.

They fell asleep half way through the movie, and in the morning Troy woke up to see the menu screen flashing and Ryan asleep in his arms. He looked at the clock surprised that it was nearing nine AM. There was a note on his bedside table, _'Troy, we heard you two wake up this morning and figured it would be best to let you sleep. You're to stay with Ryan at home today and tomorrow, you should look after Ryan, school can wait. Make sure he eats something, and get lots of water in his system as he could still be in shock. Talk to him and make sure he's okay. I'll phone in at lunch to make sure you're okay. Love mum.' _ Troy smiled at the note and tightened his hold on Ryan.

"You'll be okay," Troy whispered in his ear.

Half an hour later Ryan woke up a little shaken, he flinched away from Troy quickly when he realised he was being held. "It's okay, it's just me." Troy said and Ryan relaxed a little more, but didn't say anything. "Are you hungry?" Ryan shook his head, Troy sighed he wasn't too sure how he could talk to Ryan with the former blond not talking, he himself wasn't exactly a great conversationalist. "Do you want some clean clothes or are you okay wearing that?" Ryan pulled the jumper closer to him and Troy smiled. "Come on, lets go downstairs." Troy got out of bed and Ryan stood up shaking. "Are you cold?" Ryan shook his head. "Ry, please talk to me." Ryan stared at the floor, tears falling from his eyes.

"Hey, it's okay. I've got you." Troy wrapped his arms around Ryan again and he held onto him tightly. "I'm not going to let him hurt you ever again okay." Ryan nodded into the embrace. "But I need you to talk to me, just to let me know that you're okay. Please?"

Ryan stared at him for a moment before nodding. "Sorry," Ryan mumbled, his voice was harsh and rough from being quiet for so long.

"You've nothing to be sorry for okay," Ryan just nodded again. "Mum says I should get you lots to drink in case you're in shock." Ryan nodded. Troy held out his hand and Ryan nervously took it. They made there way downstairs, Ryan staying extra close to Troy.

"Are you sure your not hungry?" Troy asked.

"No." Ryan said as he sat at the table. Troy poured two glasses of water and handed one to Ryan.

"How about we get the blanket down here sit on the sofa and watch crap day time television for a while?" Troy suggested.

"Okay," Ryan smiled weakly.

"Ry, I know you don't want to talk about what happened." Ryan shook his head angrily again. "It's okay, I'm not going to push you into telling me anything you don't want. But I want you to know that, I'm here." Troy smiled. "You're staying here for as long as you need and I'm going to look after you." Ryan smiled, "And when you're ready we'll talk about everything."

"When I'm ready," Ryan repeated mechanically.


	5. Chapter 5

Troy tried to focus on what was going on in the show that was on the screen, but all he could focus on was the warm body in his arms, the jet black hair that was buried in his neck and the pale shaking arms that were clenched around his shirt. Ryan whimpered in his sleep, and Troy could tell he was reliving everything that had happened to him, sweat and tears were falling from his face and whenever Troy tried to wake him, Ryan would push him away. So Troy waited until Ryan woke up on his own accord, if he woke up screaming Troy would comfort him.

"Please..." Ryan's crying voice filled the room, knocking Troy from his vivid day dreams, "I said no... please... anything but... stop it please..." Troy felt his own tears on his cheeks and wanted nothing more then to wake Ryan up. Troy didn't have to force him awake because after a couple of seconds later Ryan woke up screaming and terrified. He pushed his way free from Troy and stood up, his shaking legs causing him to fall, but Troy had caught him.

"It's okay, it's just me... you're safe." Troy chanted softly. Ryan blinked the tears away but when Troy wrapped his arms around him holding him tightly Ryan broke down, he cried his tears away until his throat was sore. Troy wasn't sure how long he had been holding Ryan, he knew it must have been about an hour because his mum had walked in half way through his outburst and instead of letting her presence known to the crying boy, she hid in the kitchen set on making them lunch. "You're safe now, Ryan. I've got you..."

"Sorry," Ryan mumbled as he moved his head so he could look at Troy. Ryan's face was red, his cheeks blushing in embarrassment he never wanted Troy to see him like this, his eyes blood shot from crying.

"Stop apologising, you've nothing to be sorry for okay?" Troy asked as he wiped away a few stray tears with his thumb, he left his fingers on Ryan's face rubbing it gently. "You okay?" Ryan nodded weakly.

"Would it be okay if I have a shower?" Ryan asked his voice croaky from the lack of speech done before and from all the crying.

"Of course it is, come on I'll show you where everything is," Troy held out his hand for Ryan which the black haired boy took straight away, he gripped it tight and Troy wrapped his free arm around Ryan's waist.

They headed upstairs and Troy turned on the shower for Ryan, telling him what way to turn it if it was too hot or too cold, he told him to use what ever he wanted and handed him a big fluffy towel. "Do you want me to stay?" Troy asked, he knew how Ryan was about not being on his own.

"Can you leave the door open a bit?" Ryan asked quietly, not making eye contact with Troy.

"Sure, I'll go grab you some clean clothes." Ryan followed Troy out to his bedroom and he reached in his draws and found a pair of jeans and another tee for the boy to wear, he also grabbed him a fresh pair of boxers.

"Thanks," Ryan smiled. "For everything."

"Don't worry about it," Troy smiled. "Go have a shower, I'll be downstairs okay if you need me just shout."

"Okay." Ryan headed into the bathroom, and Troy made sure the bathroom door was ajar so if he was to call he'd be able to hear him downstairs.

Unlike Ryan who hadn't heard Troy's mum come in, Troy did and headed downstairs to greet his mum. She was in the living room folding up the blanket that was on the sofa. "What are you doing home early?" Troy asked.

"I was worried about him," His mother said straight away. "How is he?"

"You saw him didn't you?" Troy sighed, his mother nodded. "I don't know what to do mum." Troy felt tears in his eyes but he didn't want to cry, he had to be strong for Ryan.

"It's okay, son." His mum smiled as she pulled him in for a hug. Troy buried his head in the crook of his mums neck, much like how Ryan had with him earlier. "You're friend is going through something so terrifying it's only normal for you to react like this,"

"I just want to make him okay again mum." Troy sobbed. "He wont talk to me about what happened, he hardly talks at all."

"He's in shock, he's just scared. He'll talk to you when he is ready." His mum ran a hand through his hair and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Troy pulled away and wiped his eyes. "Has he eaten?"

"He wont eat. I tried but he said he wasn't hungry."

"Okay, but he's been drinking lots of water yes?"

"Yeah." Troy answered dutifully.

"Okay, I'm not going into work for the rest of the day. You're dad is talking to the school, he's going to tell them that Ryan will be staying here." Troy smiled at that, he really did have caring parents. "I'll go and make you both some lunch, why don't you go upstairs and get changed?"

"Thanks mum." Troy placed a soft kiss on his mums cheek and then headed upstairs to Ryan.

Troy had just finished getting changed when his bedroom door opened and a refreshed looking Ryan came into the room, the thick jumper Troy had given him to wear over night was still on him. "Where should I put these?" Ryan asked as he held up the clothes he had on the night before. Troy took them off him and threw them with a pile of dirty clothes that were on his floor. Ryan raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Did you have a nice shower?" Troy asked. Ryan nodded simply. "My mum's downstairs making us something to eat. Do you want to eat in front of the television, at the table or up here?" Ryan replied that he would prefer to eat up here, Troy wondered if it was about feeling safe around other people. He assumed it was so didn't say anything else, he just held out his hand for Ryan who took it eagerly and they made there way downstairs.

Troy's mum smiled warmly as her son and Ryan came down hand in hand, "How are you feeling Ryan?" She asked, and Troy frowned when he felt Ryan start to shake next to him. He looked at his mum and she understood what he was telling her and she didn't say anything else. She knew it would take Ryan a while before he felt safe around other adults, or anyone else that wasn't Troy.

"I've made you both some chicken sandwiches," She said, "And make sure Ryan drinks a lot of water." She said to her son who nodded.

"We're going to eat upstairs," Troy said and his mum nodded, reminding him to bring the plates down once they've finished. Troy took the sandwiches in one hand and let go of Ryan's hand. Ryan took the two glasses of water from the side and they headed up to the bedroom.

Troy flicked on the television he knew Ryan wouldn't want to sit in silence and he wasn't too sure what to say. Ryan leaned against Troy, the untouched sandwich on his lap as he drank the water. Troy was half way through his sandwich when he noticed Ryan hadn't touched his. "You've got to eat something," Troy said gently.

"I can't..." Ryan sighed.

"When was the last time you had something to eat?" Troy asked coaxing Ryan to look at him. Ryan didn't answer, which didn't make Troy feel any better about the situation. "Please, for me?" Ryan stared at Troy and back down at the sandwich. "Just one slice?" Troy pleaded. "Just one slice and a lot of water?" Ryan nodded and started to pick at the bread.

When one slice was gone, Ryan placed the plate on the side and looked at Troy. "Thanks," Troy smiled. He felt slightly better that Ryan had food in his system.

"Can you tell your mum I'm sorry?" Ryan asked quietly.

"You've nothing to be sorry for Ry, you're scared and it's okay." Ryan didn't say anything else he just stared at the television. Troy pulled him closer and they both got under the covers and let themselves hide away in the show they were watching, because right now they both knew it was better then their reality.


	6. Chapter 6

The day went on slowly, the two boys sat in Troy's room under the covers; Ryan's head was resting against Troy's chest and he was absent mindedly stroking patterns over Troy's covered chest. The program that they had been watching had just finished and Troy looked down at Ryan surprised to see him deep in thought. "What you thinking about, Ry?" Troy asked softly, his left hand tangled in Ryan's hair stroking it gently.

"I was thinking that maybe I'm ready to talk?" Ryan sounded unsure, and even though Troy knew that this was a good thing.

"And I'm ready to listen," Troy smiled though he was scared of what Ryan had to say.

"When my parents kicked me out I went to stay with Brett," Ryan said quietly, he was shaking, Troy wrapped his arms tighter around him letting him know that he was there. "Brett wasn't pleased."

When Ryan stopped talking, Troy looked down and noticed the small trail of tears down his face. He pulled Ryan up and hugged him tightly. "He wasn't interested in me for more then sex." Ryan choked back a sob as he gripped a hand in Troy's shirt. "He said I could stay with him but I had to earn my keep."

Troy wanted to ask about it but he knew he had lost his voice. He couldn't interrupt what Ryan was saying all he could do was be there for him. "At first during the holiday I still had some money from my parents so I gave it to him for rent and food and everything, but he spent it on drugs." Troy stared at Ryan hoping he wasn't going to hear what was coming next, "He convinced me everything would be okay, I just had to loosen up a bit."

Troy tenses up, Ryan and drugs were too things he couldn't picture. "I didn't want to, but I had nothing else. So I did it. He was right it made me feel good, and I wanted to feel good more. Soon all the money was gone so he got me a job at the club he worked at. That's when I dyed my hair they didn't want me working there with the blond boy look because they had a reputation. So I dyed my hair, and worked behind the bar. But the money wasn't good. Brett he did other jobs and... I didn't want to do that." Ryan was shaking again, and Troy was afraid that if he was to hold him any tighter he would bruise him, so instead he ran a hand up and down his arms.

"I worked at the bar most of the summer, I wanted drugs more then food. But then my mum phoned me and I realised how much I miss my old life, how much I missed Sharpay and I missed being happy. She wanted to meet me, and I was stupid to think that she wanted me back in her life as her son. When I went to see her, she... had all my stuff in bags. She looked at me as if I wasn't there. I took my stuff and went back to Brett's he laughed at everything and then when he told me I had to get money for drugs that I felt like I needed so much, when he told me to sleep with an older man for money I didn't say no."

Troy was putting everything in order in his head, he was trying to follow it as though it was a story because then he could imagine it was Ryan reading it to him about someone else, someone that wasn't Ryan. "I was desperate, school was hard and I felt as though everyone was staring at me because everyone knew. But you were nice to me, you and Chad you didn't make me feel as though I was a freak, you made me feel like the old Ryan. Even though I had told Brett I would do it, nothing had been planned and I was just hoping it was going to pass. But then he picked me up and he told me where we going and I panicked."

Ryan was crying now, his body was shaking with fear and Troy had a tight hold on him. "Brett drove me there told me it would be okay, it was just sex it was no different to what me and him had done. But when I saw him, he was just too big, he was scary and I said no. I begged for him to stop but I guess he thought it was part of a game because the more I begged the harder he got. I tried to get Brett to help but he was already high and I doubt he would have helped any way." Ryan sobbed, Troy wanted him to stop he had tears falling from his own eyes.

"Once he was done, he beat me because I wouldn't stop crying. He threw the money at me and I realised how cheap I was because I couldn't even afford a decent meal with the bills he had given me. He just laughed at me and then I just left. I didn't stop running, I didn't even know where I was running too but then I stopped and I was at your house."

Troy held onto Ryan as though if he had let him go he would disappear. "I'm sorry you went through all of that," Troy said quietly. Ryan didn't answer he just held onto Troy as tight as Troy was holding onto him.

They sat on Troy's bed for half an hour just holding each other before Troy realised the crying had stopped and Ryan had cried himself into a deep sleep. Troy settled them down onto the bed and held him as he let more tears escape his eyes.

Troy wasn't sure when he fell asleep all he knew was that he was woken up by the sounds of whimpering, he was sure it was Ryan having a nightmare so sat up quickly but then he realised he was alone in the bed and the whimpering was coming from the far corner of his bedroom. He got up from his bed and walked over to Ryan who was sat holding a basketball in his hand, an old yearbook was sat opened on the floor. Troy sat down next to him, and Ryan moved closer. "You know my dad was always trying to get me to play sports." Ryan sniffed as he held the basketball.

"Oh yeah?" Troy asked curiously.

"I could never play basketball, you know how bas I am at golf, when I hit my first home run I was seven, I think that was the proudest my dad ever was of me. When I told him I wanted to play baseball he took me out every Saturday to a private cage, we would spend the whole day just playing baseball and I felt normal. But then I did my first performance and baseball fell second in things I love. My dad wasn't pleased, when ever he could he would try and get me to play sports, always tell me that wearing hats made me look stupid, he didn't like the clothes I wore. He stopped loving me for who I was and just held onto the memory of me at seven being the son he wanted me to be."

Troy picked up the yearbook that was on the floor, it was of the baseball team. "I liked it better when I wasn't out." Ryan sighed. "I liked it better when my parents wanted to know me."

"You need to give your parents time, they might come round. But if not you're always going to have people who love you for who you are." Troy said soothingly. "You'll always have me, and friends who are there for you."

"Mean it?" Ryan sniffed.

"Yeah, I mean it." Troy smiled. "I'm not saying it's going to be easy, and I'm not going to say that I understand everything you're going through because I don't. But you're not alone. You've got me, my parents they want to help the best they can."

"Don't tell them, please." Ryan sighed. "About the drugs. I don't want them to know how weak I am."

"Ryan you're many things, but weak wouldn't be a word I used to describe you." Troy smiled. "You stopped though?"

"I guess." Ryan shrugged. "I wasn't really addicted. I just liked feeling good."

"We'll find you another way to make you feel good okay?" Ryan looked at Troy with a raised eyebrow. "Funny," Troy smirked. "But you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I know." Ryan leant his head against Troy's shoulder.


	7. Chapter 7

Ryan slept throughout most of the night, Troy however couldn't sleep. He was scared for Ryan, he had never known anyone who got caught up with drugs, he didn't even know what type of drugs it was that Ryan had taken. He wanted to ask, he wanted to know about the drugs and make sure that the beautiful boy next to him never had to take them again. He ran a hand through Ryan's hair, the black dye was fading slightly and he could make out the blond roots. He stared at the pale face, that was slowly coming back to it's normal complexion. Troy was getting the old Ryan back. Troy wrapped an arm around Ryan's waist, smiling when the boy snuggled closer to the embrace and put his head on Troy's chest. Troy had never felt so needed or wanted in his life and he couldn't help but feel very comfortable falling to sleep with Ryan in his arms.

When Troy woke up he was alone in the bed, he looked over to the corner where he had found Ryan the day before but was surprised to see it empty. He got up a little panicked now and headed towards the bathroom, the door was open and there was no Ryan. He walked down the stairs and smiled when he saw Ryan sat in the living room on the sofa. Troy walked into the room and smiled at Ryan. "Morning, your mum left you some bacon and put it in the microwave and our school work is on the side."

"You spoke to mum?" Troy asked. Yesterday Ryan had been terrified to speak to anyone other then him.

"No," Ryan blushed slightly. "She left a note." Troy nodded his head and headed over to the kitchen, now that Ryan had mentioned breakfast he was feeling really hungry. He knew if he was to ask Ryan if he wanted breakfast he would say no, so instead he just made him a sandwich instead of the full breakfast he was having. He walked into the living room and handed Ryan his plate, he stared at it before biting at the corners.

"What time did you wake up?" Troy asked, Ryan scowled at him for talking with his mouth full and Troy felt a little sheepish, none of his friends usually cared as most of them did the same. "Sorry." He laughed.

"Not long ago. I'm not used to sleeping long so when I woke up I couldn't get back to sleep, and I didn't want to wake you." Ryan explained.

"You feeling okay?" Troy asked once he had swallowed a piece of egg. Ryan simply nodded. "I was thinking maybe we could go out for a walk today," Troy suggested.

"What outside?" Ryan panicked. "I mean well if you want to go for a walk it's obvious you would go outside because you can't really walk around the house I mean not much space to walk but..."

"Ryan calm down," Troy said, he placed his breakfast on the table and headed over to Ryan who was trying very hard to regain his breathing patterns. "Hey, it's okay. Deep breaths..." Ryan mimicked Troy's breathing and once he got his breathing under control he stared at Troy with what could only be described as a broken expression. "We wont go outside, it's okay."

"But..."

"You need fresh air but it's a nice day we can sit in the garden and do some work," Troy smiled. Ryan nodded his head as he held onto Troy's hand.

"Thank you," Ryan said sheepishly. Troy didn't say anything instead he wrapped his arms around Ryan and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

The two boys finished breakfast in comfortable silence and then they grabbed their work from the side and headed out into the garden. Troy didn't have a lot to do and his pile was quite a lot smaller than Ryan's. "You don't do drama any more do you?" Troy asked, even though he knew his work had to be done he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"No," Ryan answered quietly.

"How come?" Troy asked, he knew how much the younger boy loved drama.

"Couldn't face Sharpay, and drama involves everyone seeing you and I really didn't want to be seen." Ryan sighed.

"So, what do you do instead?" Troy asked.

"English," Ryan smiled.

"Looks like it's a lot of reading to me," Troy said as he stared at the large book Ryan was holding.

"That's what English is, reading and writing." Ryan laughed. "Instead of acting plays, I read them."

"Do you miss it?" Troy asked as he leaned back, he couldn't be asked to do his work so instead he peeled off his tee and bathed in the sun. Ryan watched him and smiled and set the book in his lap.

"I haven't had time to miss anything from my old life," Ryan sighed. "But yeah, I miss it."

"You miss your family." Troy said as he took Ryan's hand in his.

"Yeah," Ryan sighed. Troy squeezed Ryan's hand and then let go, though he missed the feeling immediately.

They stayed outside for a while, Ryan reading the English text he was provided with and Troy lying on the ground staring at the sky. When Ryan closed his book and laid down next to Troy, the basketball player looked at him. "Good book?"

"Yeah," Ryan smiled. "So, how is everything with Gabriella?"

"We broke up." Troy answered quickly. "I took your advice, told her we were better off as friends."

"How did she take it?" Ryan asked curiously.

"She agreed." Troy smiled. "We're mates and it's good." Troy looked over at Ryan who was staring up at the sky. "Do you want any more hair dye?" Troy asked randomly, the question seemed to take Ryan by surprise because he started to laugh.

"What?" Ryan laughed.

"Hair dye, do you want some more?" Troy laughed, he could see how weird his question was but was glad it made Ryan laugh. "You're blonds coming through."

"Oh." Ryan just shrugged. "I want to the black to go." Ryan answered truthfully.

"Cool." Troy smiled not having anything else to say. "What do you want to do for the rest of the day?" Troy asked.

"Can we stay out here?" Ryan asked.

"Course." Troy smiled.

"It's a nice day," Ryan stated. "I feel safe here."

"You're safe here with me, I promise." Troy said as he took Ryan's hand in his. Ryan looked at him and grinned, squeezing his hand tightly. "Ry, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," Ryan said nervously.

"What you said last night about drugs..." Ryan looked away, too ashamed to look at Troy. "What sort of drugs?"

"At first it was just pot." Ryan answered still looking away from Troy. "Then I wanted something more. I only did it twice."

"What was it?" Troy asked as he put a comforting arm around Ryan's waist. Ryan looked up at him nervously.

"Cocaine. I'm not proud of it..." Ryan mumbled. "It just made everything seem better."

"It's okay," Troy said strongly. "It's in the past now," Ryan nodded and moved so he was lying with his head on Troy's chest, much like how they slept at night.


	8. Chapter 8

The day's slowly passed, Chad had phoned asking what was going on wanting to know why his best friend wasn't at school. Troy told him it was personal but he should be in on Monday, Chad asked if he was okay and when Troy said he was Chad left him too it. Friday and Saturday were spent mostly outside in the garden, Ryan would sit and read his English text or do the maths he was assigned and Troy would do his work half heartedly before practising his jump shot and Ryan would watch him. It wasn't till Sunday that Troy noticed how Ryan was becoming a little distant.

"Everything okay?" Troy asked, it was nearing lunch time and Ryan was sat outside watching as Troy and his father shot some hoops, Troy's dad had even offered to help Ryan with his shooting skills but Ryan turned the offer down. Ryan hadn't realised that Jack; Troy's dad, had left them to it. "Ry..."

"Huh?" Ryan shook his head. "Sorry."

"It's cool." Troy smiled and sat next to Ryan, he noticed that the blond boy was almost finished his book. "Must be good." He said pointing towards the book.

"Yeah, it is." Ryan shrugged.

"Are you okay?" Troy asked, when Ryan shrugged weakly he knew there was something wrong.

"I don't want to go back to school," Ryan said quietly. Troy sighed, Ryan hadn't spoken to anyone other then him and his parents, but even when he spoke to Troy's parents it wasn't a full conversation normally he would just answer with yes no answers.

"I know." Troy sighed, he put an arm around Ryan holding him next to him. "I'll ask my mum if we can stay off."

"You've got a life Troy," Ryan said as he moved away from him. "You've got friends who miss you, classes you need to attend. You can't put it all on hold because I'm too scared to leave the house."

"Can't I?" Troy asked. He wanted to move closer to Ryan because it felt wrong not being close to him. He was used to holding him when they spoke, he had grown comfortable having his body heat close to him, and when he was without it everything just felt wrong.

"No." Ryan answered simply.

"Okay. Well how about if I go to school and you stay here?" Troy asked, though he didn't want to leave Ryan alone. Ryan thought about it and shook his head.

"I don't think I could be on my own." Ryan answered honestly.

"We'll talk to my mum okay?" Troy suggested, when Ryan nodded Troy decided he wanted to get the physical contact back and walked slowly over to him and wrapped an arm around him, it was a light hug one that Ryan could pull away from easily if he chose to. But Ryan didn't choose to pull away instead he held on tighter.

"Can we go out?" Ryan asked in Troy's ear.

"Where do you want to go?" Troy asked as he ran his hands up and down Ryan's back in soothing motions, he could practically feel Ryan melting into the touch.

"To the mall?" Ryan suggested. "I... it'll be crowded there and I need to get used to being near other people."

"Are you sure?" Troy asked, he knew what a big deal this was for Ryan. Ryan nodded. "Okay. We'll take my car then and when ever you want to leave we will." Ryan nodded and hugged Troy a little tighter before moving away.

They walked into the kitchen hand in hand, Troy's parents didn't question what was going on between them, they both knew what would eventually happen and neither frowned upon it. "Where you two going then?" His mum asked.

"To the mall," Ryan said almost proudly. Troy's mum looked a little anxious. "I need to get used to it." Ryan added. Troy smiled, Ryan was really trying to get better.

"Do you want us to come with you?" Troy's dad offered. Ryan shook his head.

"We'll be okay." Troy smiled and squeezed Ryan's hand tight. Troy's mum smiled at them both and reached into her purse, she handed both boys a twenty dollar bill. When she went to give it to Ryan he pulled away.

"Please take it," Troy's mum said. "It's not charity, just get something nice with it. Please."

"I..." Ryan stared at the money and then took it, "Thank you." He pocketed the bill and then stared at the floor.

Troy smiled to his mum and dad before walking out of the house with Ryan attached to his hand. When they got into the truck, Ryan handed Troy the money. "Hold onto it for me?" Ryan asked nervously. "I don't want to get something I shouldn't." Troy couldn't describe how proud he felt of Ryan then.

"Sure." Troy smiled and put the money in his pocket. Ryan sat close to Troy who put one arm around him as he started the engine. "Remember, when you want to leave just tell me." Ryan nodded his head and took a nervous deep breath.

When they reached the car park they found it hard to find a space which meant the mall was packed tight. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Troy asked as he rubbed Ryan's arms, Ryan was still wearing Troy's clothes which were slightly too big for him.

"Yeah." Ryan nodded his head and when Troy opened the door he took another deep breath and then followed Troy out of the truck. Troy reached out and grabbed Ryan's hand.

"I wont let go, I'll be here with you every step of the way." Troy said squeezing Ryan's hand as though he was proving the point. Ryan smiled sheepishly and walked hand in hand with Troy into the mall.

Troy could feel Ryan shaking next to him, people were walking around them a few staring at their hands but not saying anything. "You okay?" Troy asked gently. Ryan nodded too scared to actually speak. Ryan moved a little closer to Troy who put an arm around him as well. "I think we should get you some clothes." Ryan nodded and they headed to one of the many clothes stores.

"Oh look a two for one sale," Troy pointed out at the jeans. Ryan nodded and picked up a pair of black jeans and a pair of blue jeans and when he started to laugh Troy stared at him.

"I used to laugh at people who shopped here." He mumbled. "And now look at me, a charity case."

"You're not a charity case." Troy stated. "But you do need clothes. And these aren't that bad. You can't keep wearing my clothes they're way too big for you."

"I know, I just... I wish things were back to how they used to be, you know?" Ryan sighed.

"I know." Troy smiled weakly and they headed over to a few tee shirt stands. Ryan picked up a couple of plain shirts.

"Troy?" Ryan asked nervously.

"Yeah?"

"When we go back to school, do you think I'd be able to wear your jumper?" Ryan blushed at his question he knew it was stupid.

"Course." Troy smiled, Ryan hardly took it off only when they were outside, even then it was wrapped around his waist. Troy often saw him hug it to himself when he got upset. He wasn't too sure why, a jumper was just a jumper.

Troy paid for the clothes, and he brought himself some new tops too. "You want to get some hair dye?" Troy smiled. "To cover the black?"

"Have I got enough?" Ryan asked. They walked out of the shop and the crowded mall was all Ryan could see, he held on tight to Troy's hand who held back just as tight.

"Yeah, come on." Troy directed him into one of the discount beauty stores and they headed to the hair dye section. Ryan picked up a colour that was his natural hair colour. When they paid they walked around. People bumped into them and Ryan was starting to feel a little over whelmed.

He took a deep breath, and his body started to shake as more people walked past him. Troy noticed and stopped walking, he put his hands on Ryan's shoulders and made him look directly at him. "It's okay, I'm here... you're safe."

"Troy... can we go home now?" Ryan asked, his eyes watering. Troy nodded and took his hand again and they headed out of the mall and into the truck. Once the door was shut, Ryan started to cry.

"Hey, it's okay." Troy whispered as he pulled Ryan close to him. "Was it too much?"

"Yeah." Ryan sobbed.

"But you did it." Troy said proudly as he rubbed circles on his lower back. "You did it, you were brave and you faced the crowd." Troy smiled.

"I was brave?" Ryan sniffed.

"Yes, my brave boy." Troy blushed when he realised what he had said, but he wasn't embarrassed by the words, just that Ryan had heard. He stopped crying and looked up at Troy before smiling slightly.

"Your brave boy."


	9. Chapter 9

When they arrived back from the mall, Troy's parents were waiting for them in the living room. Ryan's eyes were slightly red from crying and Troy's hand was still tight in his. "Hey boys," Troy's mum called.

"Hey," Troy smiled.

"Everything okay?" His dad asked, he could see the faded tear trails and the puffy red eyes, but he also knew better then to try and let the boy know he was there. He had found that when he tried to help Ryan the boy would shy away even more.

"Yeah." Troy smiled, "We had a good time at the mall, didn't we Ryan?"

"Yeah," Ryan said quietly.

"Well that's nice to hear," His dad smiled. Troy sat on the sofa pulling Ryan down next to him. Troy moved so he was a lot closer to Ryan he knew that he was only comfortable when they were both touching.

"We need to talk about tomorrow," Troy's mum said, she could see Ryan tense up. She also noticed that Troy's hand had moved to Ryan's lower back, should could just make out the soft circular movements he was going. She couldn't help but smile. "I know you don't want to to school, Ryan and if you don't want to then we can't make you."

"However Troy you will be going to school tomorrow," His dad stated.

"I'll go to school." Ryan said quietly.

"Are you sure?" Troy asked staring deeply into Ryan's eyes.

"Yeah." Ryan nodded his head weakly.

"I think you're doing the right thing," Troy's dad smiled. "You're in my class tomorrow morning till lunch anyway, you can sit on the bench doing some work if you want?"

"Thanks," Ryan smiled.

"And then you're in my class for science and then it's English and you like English." Ryan nodded at Troy who smiled at him.

"And any time you feel you can't stay there you come to my office or you find Troy. I've explained to the teachers that you have something going on, don't worry I didn't tell them what. But they're going to be very supportive and you have a pass if you need to leave the class room if it gets too much."

"Thank you," Ryan smiled. "You've been really kind to me, and I hope one day I'll be able to pay you back some how."

"Don't you think of doing such thing. You're welcome to stay here as long as you want, it's nice having you around." Troy's mum smiled. "Now why don't you two boys go get showered and washed up." Troy smiled gratefully at his mum and he and Ryan headed up to his bedroom hand in hand.

Ryan had his shower first, and Troy sat on his bed staring at the ceiling. Tomorrow was going to be hard. Troy knew that they wouldn't be able to walk hand in hand through the corridors and he knew how tough that was going to be for Ryan, it was as though he was his anchor and when things got too tough for him the first thing he would do would be to latch onto Troy. Troy didn't mind, he liked being their for Ryan to hold onto, he liked the feel of the smaller hand in his. So not holding onto Ryan just as much as Ryan held onto him tomorrow was going to be hard.

Troy smiled as Ryan walked in to the bedroom, he was wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. "Troy," Ryan started.

"Yeah?"

"Can you do me a favour?" Ryan asked nervously.

"What is it?" Troy asked.

"Could you... put the dye on my hair?" Ryan asked as he held out the box of hair dye. Troy smiled and nodded.

"Don't blame me if it comes out wrong. I've never done this before." Troy laughed as Ryan sat between his legs.

"Just dollop it on and make sure it's even." Ryan grinned. He sat with his hands on his lap and as Troy started to massage the hair dye on his scalp he couldn't help but feel relaxed. He moved his hands to Troy's legs. Troy stopped what he was doing and watched as Ryan's slender fingers snaked up his trouser leg and traced patterns on his skin.

Troy smiled, it felt good, it felt normal. He massaged the rest of the hair dye in Ryan's hair making sure it was even. As his fingers traced over Ryan's scalp he was pretty sure he heard a mewing sound coming from the soon to be blond again boy. He looked down and saw that Ryan's eyes were closed, he couldn't remember seeing him look so peaceful. Troy smiled and bent down he placed a soft kiss on Ryan's cheek, it was so soft it was more like just a gentle touch then a kiss. Ryan's eyes shot open and he looked at Troy and smiled nervously.

"All done," Troy grinned. Ryan smiled and moved away from Troy.

"Thanks." Ryan smiled.

"How long till you wash it off?" Troy asked.

"Half an hour. So should be ready to come off once you've finished in the shower." Ryan smiled.

"Okay," Troy smiled. Ryan sat himself on the bed and grabbed his book from the side and started to read as Troy headed into the bathroom.

Troy walked into his bedroom twenty minutes later, Ryan was sitting where he had left him only instead of his reading book in his hand was a piece of paper. He was concentrating so hard on what he was doing that he hadn't heard Troy enter. "Hey," Troy smiled.

"Hey," Ryan grinned. Troy was wearing his boxers which were slightly tighter then Ryan's and Ryan couldn't help but look. "I'm going to wash this off..." Ryan said quickly and headed out of the bedroom quickly.

Troy sighed and sat on his bed, he looked at the piece of paper that Ryan was working on and smiled. He had no idea that the boy could draw, the picture was perfect it was of two boys that looked a lot like Troy and Ryan. The picture was simple, they were just outside in what looked like Troy's garden, just holding each other. Troy grinned as he placed the picture back on top of the book and then closed his eyes.

A few minutes later Ryan walked back in, his black hair now blond. "Does it look okay?" Ryan smiled.

"Looks nice." Troy said not too sure what to say, he knew he wanted to say words like beautiful, hot even but he didn't want to scare him away. "Come here." He smiled, Ryan nervously approached him. Troy grabbed a couple of wipes from his draw and sat Ryan on the bed. He stood over him and gently started to wipe the hair dye from his face.

Ryan leant into the touch, Troy's hands felt really good against his skin. "Thank you," Ryan smiled.

"Don't worry." Troy threw the wipe on the side and sat next to Ryan on the bed. The blond boy put his head on his shoulder and Troy wrapped his arms around him.

"Tomorrow, remember if you need me I'll be there okay." Troy whispered. Ryan looked up and placed a soft kiss against Troy's lips.

"Thanks." Ryan smiled.


	10. Chapter 10

Ryan woke up an hour before the alarm though it was debatable whether he actually got any sleep at all. He had a quick shower and got dressed pulling on the clothes he brought yesterday, he combed his now blond hair and stared at his reflection just as Troy was woken up by the alarm. Ryan watched as Troy woke up, it was probably one of the cutest things he had ever seen. Once Troy woke up and realised Ryan wasn't next to him he looked up to see Ryan standing at the foot of the bed.

"How long have you been up?" Troy asked sleepily.

"About an hour," Ryan answered truthfully.

"Nightmare?" Troy asked, he knew that Ryan had been having more nightmares even if he hadn't woke up screaming causing Troy to wake up to, the signs of Ryan not sleeping were pretty clear.

"Yeah and I just couldn't sleep." Ryan sighed. "Maybe once today is over and it isn't too bad I'll be able to sleep more."

"Maybe, or if you get too bad I can ask mum to pick up some sleeping tablets for you?" Troy offered, he kicked his legs over the side of the bed and Ryan sat down next to him. Troy wrapped his arms around him and smiled as he leaned in closer.

"Yeah, if it doesn't get better." Ryan smiled. "You should probably get dressed." Troy nodded.

One and a half hours later Ryan and Troy pulled up outside school. Troy's parents had wished Ryan luck, reminding him that if it got too bad he could go to see Jack at any time and he would be able to go home. Troy hugged Ryan before they got out of the truck and they walked closely, but not touching each other, to the gates. Ryan flinched as excited students rushed past him.

"Troy!" Chad called. "Dude I missed you man." He laughed, pulling Troy into a manly hug. "Hey Evans," Chad smiled, he went to give Ryan the same hug but the blond flinched away. "Sorry dude, everything okay?"

"Yeah every thing's fine." Troy smiled, he looked over at Ryan who was staring at the floor. Not caring if Chad saw, Troy reached out and took Ryan's hand in his and squeezed it tightly. "You okay, Ry?"

"Yeah, sorry." Ryan mumbled. Chad noticed the interaction between the two boys, he didn't think twice on it. He could tell something was happening between them, and it didn't bother him and when Troy was ready to tell him just what it was he'd be there for him, after all they were brothers. Chad could also tell that something had happened to Ryan, and he knew it wasn't his place to pry.

"Don't worry." Chad grinned.

They walked into the building, Chad walked on the other side of Ryan which Troy was thankful for. Ryan knew Chad wouldn't hurt him and he hoped the blond boy felt a little protected. Troy and Chad walked with Ryan to his locker and as the blond was getting his books out his name was called. Troy turned around and groaned as Sharpay stormed up to him.

"Ryan!" She shouted. Ryan looked up, his body was shaking as Sharpay got nearer. Troy and Chad both felt this and moved closer to Ryan. "Father has a message for you." Her voice was still raised, and she either wasn't aware or didn't care that her brother was shaking in front of her. "He wants you to tell your faggot boyfriend to never come near the estate again!" Every one who was near looked over at what was going on.

"He.. Brett went to the estate." Ryan said shakily.

"Looking for you!" Sharpay spat in disgust. "I told him you were most likely fucking some one for money for a place to live." Ryan gulped, at the time that was partly true. "Dirty little fag." She said in disgust before walking away.

"Hey, Ryan. You're okay look at me." Troy said holding tight onto Ryan's shoulders. Ryan looked up at him as tears fell uncontrollably down his face. "You're okay, you're safe." Troy said gently, the words had become a kind of mantra between them. "You want to go home?"

"No," Ryan wiped his eyes quickly. "I... don't want to be weak any more."

"You were never weak." Troy insisted, not caring about the people around he pulled Ryan into a tight hug and held him close. "You're my brave boy, remember?" Troy whispered in his ear. Ryan nodded into the hug and Troy smiled and pulled away.

"Here," Chad offered Ryan a tissue who took it gratefully.

"Thanks," He mumbled.

"Don't worry." Chad smiled. "Come on, we'll walk you to class." Troy smiled at his friend and the three of them headed towards the gym. Troy guided Ryan to his dads office and knocked on the door. When Coach Bolton saw the tear tracks running down Ryan's face he instantly felt guilty for pushing Ryan into school too soon.

"Hey, everything okay boys?" Jack asked kindly. Over the past two days he had seen the relationship change between the boys, and he felt as though Ryan was now part of the family.

"Yeah, we just thought we'd walk Ryan to class." Troy smiled.

"Have you got work to do?" Jack asked gently.

"Yeah," Ryan answered quietly.

"Okay, do you want to stay in here or be in the gym with the class?" Ryan thought about it for a second but then said he'd rather be in the gym because he didn't think he would be able to spend two hours alone in a small office. "Okay, well Troy and Chad you two should get to your lessons, Ryan will be okay with me."

Troy looked at Ryan who nodded, he hugged him tightly reminding him that he would be okay and then left with Chad.

"Dude, what happened?" Chad asked. "He looks really scared."

"He's had a bad time of it." Troy answered though he knew those words didn't cover it at all. "I can't tell you what happened."

"But is he okay?"

"No." Troy answered bluntly. "He came to my house on Wednesday night, scared out of his mind. He's staying with me, my parents are looking after him."

"That's why you wasn't in?" Chad asked and Troy nodded. "Dude what ever I can do to help Ryan, I'll do it."

"I think he just needs to know he has people around him who cares. But don't get offended if he doesn't talk to you or if he flinches away. He wouldn't talk to my parents until Friday night and when my mum goes to hug him he still pulls away."

"It's that bad?" Chad asked a little shocked.

"Worse." Troy sighed. Chad patted his mate on the shoulder, Troy sighed he already missed Ryan's touch.

"You two are really close now." Chad said as they walked to their class.

"Yeah, he only talks to me." Troy smiled.

"I saw you two holding hands," Chad pointed out. "You really like him." Troy thought his mouth had fell open when Chad said that, and when Chad laughed he realised his mouth had actually fallen open. "It's okay." Chad smiled. "It's cool, I mean you and Ryan you're cute together."

"But we're not together." Troy stated.

"You want to be though." Chad laughed.

"I... it's complicated. And I don't want to talk about it." Chad nodded, he felt a little odd talking about it too so dropped the subject.

At break, Chad and Ryan headed to the gym to meet Ryan. The blond was sat in the coaches office, Troy's dad sat at his desk doing paper work as Ryan read. "Hey," Troy smiled as he walked in. When Ryan saw Troy he walked up to him and hugged him tight. Troy grinned, he needed that hug just as much as Ryan. "Hey, you okay?" Troy asked gently, he tried to ignore the knowing smiles Chad and his dad were sending his way.

"Sorry," Ryan mumbled.

"Don't be," Troy smiled squeezing him tightly.

"You two got maths together next right?" His dad checked.

"Yeah." Troy nodded his head.

"Okay, well I'll see you two at home then. Remember Ryan, if you want to go home early just come here and I'll drive you okay."

"Thanks." Ryan smiled. The three headed out of the gym and walked to the main area of the school. Troy put an arm around Ryan's shoulder in a friendly embrace.

"How was class?" Chad asked, he was standing on the other side of Ryan.

"Fine." Ryan answered. Troy squeezed his shoulder a little and Ryan looked up at him and smiled.

"Hey!" Taylor and Gabriella chorused as they walked towards the boys. Chad smiled and wrapped his arms around Taylor and Gabriella stood awkwardly between the couples.

"Ryan, you're blond again." Taylor smiled. Ryan just nodded. "Looks good."

"I did it!" Troy grinned proudly.

"You dyed his hair?" Gabriella laughed.

"Yeah, and I did a good job too, right Ry?" Troy asked again squeezing his shoulder gently letting him know he was okay.

"If you mean good as in getting it all on my forehead then yes Troy. You did good." Ryan smiled. Troy grinned, there was the Ryan humour he had missed.

"Funny." Troy smiled. The group walked around the campus aimlessly throughout break, Ryan stayed quiet for most of the conversation he felt safe around Troy and his friends, though mainly because Troy had an arm around him and Chad never failed to leave his side. Though once the warning bell rang out and everyone made their way to classes and he and Troy were alone, he felt much better.

"So how was your lesson, really?" Troy asked.

"I... horrible." Ryan replied.

"Did something happen?" Troy asked. Ryan shook his head and stared at the floor. "Then why was it horrible?"

"I missed you." Ryan said quietly. "You weren't there when I closed my eyes and saw him, and I guess I'm just used to you being there."

"Oh but I am." Troy smiled. He picked at the jumper Ryan was wearing. "See, when ever you need me and I'm not there just hold on tight to this."

"Okay." Ryan smiled weakly. Troy smiled.

"I missed you too you know," Troy added casually as they walked towards the maths block.

"Really?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, Really."


	11. Chapter 11

Troy sat next to Ryan in maths instead of sitting next to Jason, people noticed but didn't say anything. It was no secret that the two boys had gotten pretty close, though people were starting to notice just how close they were getting.

"Hey, Troy!" One of the older basketball players laughed.

"Yeah?" Troy asked turning around.

"Why you sitting with him?" The boy said, saying him as though Ryan was a nasty disease.

"Because he's a friend, and I want to." Troy stated.

"But he's a..."

"A what?" Troy said loudly.

"A fag." The boys laughed.

"So what the hell does that matter?" Troy shouted, he couldn't believe how close minded people could be.

"It matters because it's dirty," The boy said simply. "I mean come on Troy..."

"No. I wont come on." Troy shouted. "You leave Ryan alone, you hear me?"

"Why do you even care?" The boy continued to laugh. "Oh... I see."

"You see what?" Troy said nervously.

"The hand holding, everyone was saying you were holding his hand, no one really believed it but now. You're a queer too."

"And if I am?" Troy shouted, Ryan looked up at Troy who was now shaking with anger.

"Dude that's just wrong." The boy laughed, thankfully he shut up when the teacher walked in. Troy turned to Ryan who was staring at his book with fake interest.

They started the work that was set and Troy hated the silence that drifted between them, "You okay?" Troy asked softly.

"Yeah," Ryan said, he looked up at Troy and smiled weakly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good," Troy smiled. Troy squeezed Ryan's hand on top of the table and then linked their fingers together. They continued the work in a comfortable silence, every so often when Troy noticed Ryan drifting into his thoughts he would squeeze his hand and then help him with the work.

The bell rang and both boys were pleased as they only had lunch and then one more lesson until the end of the day, and they were both in that class together, as was Chad and their friends. "Mr Evans, a word please." The teacher said, a few students made noises and laughed as they walked out. "And Tory you can stay too." Troy smiled gratefully he wouldn't know how Ryan would react to being in a class alone with an adult.

The teacher smiled at them, and then began to talk. "Coach Bolton told me something happened, and all the teachers have been asked to keep an eye on you and make sure you're okay with the work being set." Ryan didn't say anything. "Did you find the task okay?"

"Yeah," Ryan answered, though he wasn't really telling the truth.

"I helped him with it," Troy said.

"Okay. If you need any extra help don't be scared to come to any of the teachers for help."

"Thanks," Ryan said weakly.

"I hope everything is okay," She said and then said they could leave.

"You okay?" Troy asked softly, he took Ryan's hand in his and they headed towards the canteen.

"I'm tired." Ryan sighed.

"One more lesson then we can go home, okay?" Troy said gently. "And then you can go to sleep." Ryan nodded his head and they sat at the table.

"Hey," Chad smiled, he sat next to Ryan who was grateful. "How was maths?"

"Horrible." Troy sighed. "One of the jocks were giving us a bad time."

"Us?" Chad asked, "Both of you?"

"Yeah. Stupid idiots." Troy muttered.

"What happened?" Chad asked curiously.

"Just being stupid, saying stuff. But it's all good now." Troy said. Taylor and Gabriella walked over to them.

"Troy, can I have a word?" Gabriella asked, "In private."

Troy looked at Ryan, he didn't want to leave him alone. Ryan smiled and nodded at him. "Wont be long, okay." Ryan nodded, not missing the look Troy sent to Chad.

"What's this about Gab?" Troy asked.

"Are you with Ryan?" She asked bluntly.

"What?" Troy sighed.

"Are you together?" She asked sadly. "Tell me the truth, I deserve to know."

"What do you mean, you deserve to know?" Troy laughed.

"We were together."

"Were pass tense." Troy stated.

"So you are then?" She asked. "How long?"

"We're not together." Troy replied.

"You're lying. Every one is talking about it."

"They don't know anything." Troy said sharply. "I'm not with him."

"Then why are you always holding his hand?"

"I don't have to explain anything to you Gabriella." Troy said.

"Ever since he came back from Summer, you were always trying to talk to him, and then you broke up with me, and now you're always with him."

"When I broke up with you it had nothing to do with Ryan." Troy sighed. "You were okay when I broke up with you, said it was okay because we were drifting..."

"You were with Ryan when we were together weren't you?"

"I'm not with him!" Troy said sharply. "Get over yourself. I broke up with you because my heart wasn't in it. I'm going back over there..."

"To Ryan?"

"Yes. I'm going to go back over to Ryan." Troy sighed and walked over to the table.

Chad was talking to Ryan, though Troy noticed Chad was doing most of the talking. "Hey, everything okay?" Troy asked as he sat back down.

"Yeah." Chad grinned. "What was that all about?"

"She thinks I'm going out with Ryan." Troy said looking at Ryan.

"Aren't you?" Taylor asked a little confused. Troy looked at Ryan who was looking at the table. "I mean, the hand holding, the cuddling, looks pretty relationship like." She smiled. "It's okay if you are."

"We're not." Ryan said quietly.

"Just friends." Troy said, though thinking about it now he really didn't think they were just friends.

"Yeah sure you are." Chad laughed. Troy shot Chad a look and he just smirked again.

When lunch finished they all headed to home room, Troy told Ryan to sit with him, Chad, Taylor and Kelsi at the back which he did because he didn't want to sit next to Sharpay. When their teacher started to talk Ryan drifted into his thoughts; thoughts of Troy, of Brett, Sharpay, of his life and how fucked up it had gotten in such a short amount of time.

"Ry," Troy said gently, he noticed the glazed over look in his friends eye and was determined to knock him out of it. Ryan looked at him and smiled weakly. Troy took his hand in his and held onto it tightly. "You're okay." Ryan just nodded. Troy stared at their hands and smiled, they were just friends for now, but he knew he'd talk to Ryan about it sooner rather than later and hoped maybe they could be more than just friends.


	12. Chapter 12

"How was he today?" Troy's mum asked. They had been home for a while, they had sat in Troy's room doing work and talking, once their work was done Troy had put a film on and Ryan had fallen asleep almost straight away. Troy had wondered down stairs in search for dinner when his mum had asked.

"He... was scared at first. But he was okay, well dealing?" Troy said a little unsure how to put how Ryan really was.

"It'll take some time. How is he now?" His mum asked concerned.

"Fast asleep." Troy said as he grabbed two bottles of water. "He hasn't been sleeping properly."

"Nightmares?" Troy just nodded.

"Well let him sleep for now, but wake him up for dinner okay?" Troy nodded again, kissed his mum on the cheek before heading back up to his room. He stared at Ryan; the blond was curled around Troy's pillow holding onto it tightly. Troy knew he was falling fast but with Ryan looking as cute as he did then he didn't care. He sat on the bed and slowly detached Ryan's body from the pillow, the blond instantly curled into Troy and the older boy couldn't help but smile as he held on back.

Troy flicked the channel over and started to watch a game. His eyes focused on the players, his mind making comments about their jump shot or dribbling skills but his body was too wrapped up in Ryan to care what was going on. Half way through the game Ryan started to move and Troy watched as the blond slowly woke up, he was pleased that he seemed to wake up before the nightmares hit.

"Hey sleepy head," Troy smiled warmly.

"Hey." Ryan replied, his voice full of sleep. "Time is it?"

"Almost six." Troy answered. "Did you have a nice sleep." Troy started to comb his fingers through Ryan's hair, he loved how Ryan would move closer to him to get more out of the touch. Ryan didn't say anything just settled closer to Troy and got comfortable.

"What do you want to do tonight?" Troy asked.

"What would you normally do? I mean, if I wasn't here."

"I'd... erm. Probably be out with Chad or with Gabriella."

"Why don't you go out with Chad?" Ryan asked. "I mean, I don't want you thinking you have to be here with me."

"I want to be here with you." Troy smiled. "Besides, Chad's with Taylor, their still you know a new couple I don't want to get between them."

"Oh." Ryan sighed.

"Do you not want me to spend time with you?" Troy asked, he was trying not to sound as needy as he knew he was coming across.

"No I do, I just don't want you to feel like you have to."

"Ry, I want to be here with you. Not because I think I have to, but because I like spending time with you."

"Really?"

"Yes." Troy answered quickly. "I can't explain it, but today when I wasn't with you I wanted to be with you."

"I know, I was like it too." Ryan sighed, he snuggled closer to Troy and took his hand in his. "You make me feel safe." Troy smiled and squeezed Ryan's hand tighter.

"I need to tell you something," Troy said awkwardly and he almost regretted it because now he would have to say it. Ryan looked up at him, "I like you. Like, like like you." Troy knew he had confused Ryan because he had confused himself too. He sighed and moved closer, he pressed a soft kiss against Ryan's lips and moved away as quickly as he moved in.

"I..."

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything." Troy insisted.

"I like like you too," Ryan smiled. "But I'm not ready to be with you. With anyone."

"There's no rush." Troy promised.

"Good." Ryan smiled.

"When you're ready, I'll be ready too." Troy smiled. Ryan placed a soft kiss to Troy's cheek and then placed his head on his shoulder and they started to watch the television again.

At half six they were called down to dinner. Ryan sat next to Troy who held his hand under the table as he knew how scared Ryan was around older people. Troy's parents spoke to Ryan as though he was their son and Ryan felt welcome in their house, he was just still scared.

They spoke about school, about homework and classes and then Troy's dad started to talk to Troy about the upcoming basketball game. Ryan listened curiously even though basketball wasn't exactly one of his strong points. Once dinner was finished, Troy's dad asked if Troy felt like a game and Troy said yes. Ryan smiled at Troy and then headed up to their room.

"How is he really?" His dad asked.

"He's still really scared." Troy sighed as he scored a basket.

"It's going to take time for him to be used to being around people again." His dad said and Troy knew it was true. "But I can see the way he is around you and the way you are around him."

"What do you mean?" Troy asked though he wasn't too sure if he really wanted to have this conversation with his dad, not yet anyway.

"I mean you look at him as if he's the only one you can see, and you're not scared to be yourself around him. And he looks at you as if you're the only one who can save him."

"I like him dad," Troy said softly. "Like really like him."

"I know, son." His dad laughed. "It's obvious."

"You're mad?"

"No. of course I'm not mad." His dad stated. "I don't care whether you like boys or whether you like girls. I just want you to be happy."

"Thanks." Troy grinned.

"How does Ryan feel?"

"He likes me too," Troy smiled. "He's just not ready to be in a relationship."

"Don't blame him. He must be terrified to get that close to someone again. You just got to show him that you're not like the person who did that to him."

"I know, dad. I know."

"Good. Don't hurt him. Your mother likes him a lot. He's like you, just without the basketball and more manners." Troy laughed at his dad and then they continued to play a proper game.

Forty minutes later, Troy walked up to his bedroom in just his shorts feeling in need of a shower. He opened the door to see Ryan drawing on the bed. "Hey." Troy smiled. Ryan looked up and smiled sheepishly, and the blushed when he realised he was staring at Troy's toned body. "What you drawing?"

"Just..." Ryan blushed even more and made an attempt to hide the paper but Troy saw it and smiled. It was the same one he had seen the day before, of them. This time it was a little more coloured in.

"It's really good." Troy smiled and sat down next to Ryan.

"You think so?" Ryan smiled brightly at the praise.

"I know so. When it's done can I have it?"

"You really want it?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah." Troy grinned. "I'll frame it." Ryan laughed and nodded his head.

"You smell." Ryan smirked. "Did you have fun with your dad?"

"Yeah I did." Troy laughed. "And I smell very manly."

"If that's what their calling sweaty now then yes, very manly." Ryan chuckled.

Troy grinned, it felt so good to hear Ryan laugh and make jokes. He missed it in him before. "How about I go take a shower, then we get ready for bed and watch a film?"

"Sounds good to me." Ryan smiled.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day they woke up together as the harsh sound of the alarm brought them out of their dreams. Ryan instantly blushed, he was tangled up in Troy; there wasn't a part of their bodies that wasn't touching. Arms, hands and legs holding them together. "Morning," Troy smiled.

"Morning," Ryan said staring at their hands. Troy smiled and squeezed tightly before getting up and turning the alarm off. He sat back and pulled Ryan closer again.

"Did you sleep okay?" Troy asked as he ran his hand through Ryan's hair.

"Yeah," Ryan smiled. "You?"

"Like a log." Troy smiled, he knew it had something to do with the fact that he had been so close to Ryan last night, but he couldn't remember a night where he had slept so perfect. Ryan smiled and leaned up a little and placed a soft kiss on Troy's lips, he blushed and then jumped off the bed and headed towards the bathroom grabbing his clothes as he went.

Troy smiled and yawned loudly, he got up and got his clothes ready and waited for Ryan to come out of the bathroom so that he could get ready for school. Ten minutes later Ryan came back out, he was wearing Troy's jumper and was holding it closely.

"You okay?" Troy asked as he got off the bed. Ryan only held onto the jumper when he was worried about something.

"I'm not with you at all today." Ryan said sadly.

"You are, at break and lunch and home room." Troy said as he pulled Ryan against him. Ryan didn't say anything he just buried his head in Troy's shoulder, at least yesterday he had been with Troy's dad and then Troy. "What lessons have you got today?" Troy asked.

"English. Science, art and History." Ryan listen.

"You like English and I know you like the book so that will keep your mind off everything." Troy said as he sat Ryan on the bed and sat next to him a hand around his waist. "Chad he's in your science class, so you'll have him to look after you."

"I don't want him," Ryan mumbled. "I like it when you look after me."

"I like it when I look after you too." Troy sighed. "But Chad he wants to help too. Sit with him okay." Ryan nodded weakly. "Art you like that too?"

"I..."

"I know, in art why don't you finish off the drawing?" Troy asked. "That will keep you distracted."

"'Kay."

"And History... can't think of anything about history. I'll ask my dad if you can sit in his office if you want?"

"Thank you." Ryan smiled. "I feel better now."

"Good." Troy bent his head a little and placed a soft kiss to Ryan's cheek. He noticed that when ever he tried to kiss Ryan on his lips he would freeze and tense up, he was okay with Ryan making the first move to kiss him on the lips like he had before. "I'm going to go and get dressed." He hugged Ryan a little tight before letting go and headed to the bathroom.

They arrived with five minutes to spare and they headed to each others lockers and then to home room. "Hey." Chad smiled.

"Hey," Troy grinned. Ryan smiled weakly and sat in his seat. "Do me a favour?"

"What is it hoops?" Chad asked.

"In science today, look after Ryan. Sit with him?"

"Course." Chad nodded.

The door opened and Sharpay walked in, Zeke at her side. She walked up to Ryan and Troy watched as the blond boy tensed up, he and Chad headed to Ryan's table. "Ryan!" She hissed. Ryan looked up. "Mother wants to see you tonight."

"I don't want to see her." Ryan said quietly.

"She wants to make sure you're okay. Why I have no idea..."

"Why don't you just leave him alone?" Troy shouted. He was sick of Sharpay treating his brother like this. "He hasn't done anything to you. So just back off."

"Hasn't done anything? He's ruined the Evans name!" Sharpay shouted. Everyone was watching them now. "Mother wants to know where you're staying." Sharpay stared at her brother. "That boyfriend of yours keeps ringing for you. He thinks your with us. Did you two have a falling out? Didn't he want you any more either did he realise how worthless you are..."

"Shut the fuck up Sharpay!" Chad shouted, he could see Ryan shaking in his seat and knew there was something very, very wrong.

"Why are you sticking up for him?" Sharpay shouted. "Dirty little fag."

"He's gay? So fucking what!" Chad shouted.

"Being gay doesn't change anything!" Troy yelled. "Only makes you realise who your real friends and family are. If you don't like your brother for being gay it doesn't make him look bad it makes you look like a fucking bitch so just go away and leave him alone." Sharpay just glared at him. "And as for where he is staying you can tell your excuse of a mother that her son is now staying with me and my parents. And he is welcome to stay there as long as he wants despite everything!"

"You he's staying with you?" Sharpay said in disgust. "Must be some sort of charity thing, no one would want a useless fag like you Ryan." With that Sharpay turned on her expensive heel and headed to her seat. Shaking and crying Ryan stood up from his seat and ran. Chad and Troy followed him.


	14. Chapter 14

Ryan ran all the way to Troy's truck. Troy and Chad were both surprised at how fast Ryan could run. When they caught up with him the youngest boy was crying heavily, his body shaking. "Ryan, it's okay." Troy said softly.

"Leave me alone." Ryan cried. Troy frowned. Ryan had sunk into his thoughts, he had no idea that Troy and Chad were in front of him.

"It's me, I'm not going to hurt you." Troy continued as he moved a little closer.

"Please just leave me alone, I don't want to..." Ryan cried, he had backed himself against Troy's truck.

"Hey, I'm not making you do anything Ry." Troy said, he moved closer now and reached out and touched Ryan's hand gently he wasn't surprised when Ryan pulled back sharply. "Please, it's me, Troy. I'm not going to hurt you, ever." Ryan opened his eyes weakly and looked at Troy.

"Why are you doing this?" Ryan asked weakly.

"Doing what, Ry?"

"Helping me, being nice." Ryan said with no emotion as he continued to cry. "Why would you want to help a dirty little fag like me? It's charity right... a joke..."

"No, it's not a joke. And you're not a dirty little fag." Troy said strongly. "You're just Ryan and I care about you, I care about you a lot."

"But..."

"No buts." Troy said sharply. "Come here." Ryan moved closer and wrapped his arms around Troy tightly. Troy frowned when he felt how hard Ryan was breathing and how much his body was shaking. "Are you okay, Ry?"

"I can't breath..." Ryan said as he tried to regain his control of his breathing. "It hurts." Troy looked over at Chad who was staring wide eyed.

"I'll go get help." Chad said.

"My dad." Troy said and watched as Chad ran to get the coach. "Hey, Ryan look at me come on." Ryan looked up weakly, but he was having trouble keeping his eyes focused. "Remember you're my brave boy, come on, please."

"Troy..." Ryan croaked.

"Yeah come on, please. Deep breaths..." Ryan tried to copy what Troy was doing but it hurt too much.

"Troy!" Troy had never been so relieved to hear his dads voice. He ran over to the boys, Chad following behind. "What's happened?"

"He can't breath." Troy said. Ryan was still trying to get control, but he was failing.

"Chad, nurse now!" Chad ran off again. "Okay Ryan, focus on Troy please. That's it..."

Ryan looked up at Troy who was staring at him with a worried look in his eyes. A few seconds later the nurse came running out with Chad following behind.

"Okay, Mr Evans. Look at me." The nurse said strongly, but Ryan wouldn't break his gaze from Troy. "I need you to take steady breaths." Ryan tried, Troy had a tight hold of his hands and was squeezing them tight.

"Come on Ry, deep breaths." Ryan tried, and after what felt like forever to Troy who was watching painfully as Ryan tried to breath properly, he managed to control it sort of, though he was still breathing sharply.

"Okay, that's good okay I need you to try and calm down though, okay." Ryan took in deeper breaths and stared at Troy through watery eyes.

"What's going on?" Jack asked.

"Panic attack." The nurse said. "A bad one. I'll explain once he is breathing okay and we can take him in doors."

It took ten minutes and Troy wouldn't let go of Ryan, he held onto him tightly. Chad had made sure Ryan was okay and then went to his lesson, Troy promising to talk to him later. Jack went with his two boys into the nurses room, he had already phoned Troy's mum, she'd want to know about Ryan.

"Okay, what you had out there was a panic attack. Have you had them before?" The nurse asked to Ryan who was sat on the plastic bed wrapped in Troy's arms. Ryan nodded weakly. "Can you tell me when?"

"When I was little." Ryan said. "I had my first one when I was about four I think." His voice was harsh and dry and Troy held onto him tighter.

"Not quite as bad as that one though?" The nurse asked, Ryan shook his head silently. "Okay, have you felt sick lately?" Ryan shook his head. "Tired? Dizzy?"

"He's been tired a lot." Troy said when Ryan remained silently. The nurse nodded and smiled at Troy.

"I want to take some blood." The nurse said. Ryan gulped, he hated needles. "It's okay. As I'm only a school nurse I can't do the tests myself I will have to send them to a doctor. Do you want to go to a doctor to have this done or here now?"

"Ryan why don't you get it done with now? Then we can find out what's going on sooner?" Jack suggested. Ryan just nodded his head.

"Don't worry." Troy said next to him. Ryan looked at him with scared eyes. "Remember, my brave boy."

"Your brave boy." Ryan said weakly as the nurse rolled up his sleeve. He turned his head so he wasn't looking, he buried his head in Troy's shoulder and Troy started to play with his hair, something that calmed him down a lot.

Ryan flinched as the needle pierced his skin, he held onto Troy's hand tightly as the blood was drawn from his body. The nurse finished and put a plaster on his arm. "All done." Ryan looked at his arm and sighed, it hurt but he had worse. He pulled down the sleeve to Troy's jumper down and sighed. "What is his eating habit like?" The nurse directed the question to Jack, who had explained that he was staying with him.

"He doesn't eat much." Jack admitted. "I'd say one small meal at the most a day. He's been through something, and I think he's still in shock."

"Right. I think he might be anaemic, but I'll send the blood off and the doctor will be able to explain everything. For now I need you to make sure he eats at least one meal a day, with lots of fruit between. Also I recommend vitamin tablets, and iron tablets. He's under weight which can be why he is tired."

"I'll make sure he eats." Jack promised. The nurse smiled at Jack and then reached into her cabinet and pulled out some pills.

"These are calming pills," She explained. "They're designed to calm people down when they have panic attacks." She handed them to Jack and then turned to Ryan. "When you feel as though you can't breath or you're feeling worked up take one, you suck on them okay and they calm you down." Ryan nodded. "Okay I recommend you go home and get some rest."

"Come on boys." Jack said. "Thanks." He smiled to the nurse and then Troy and Ryan walked out, hand in hand. "Troy take Ryan home and stay with him. Make sure he rests and eats something. Phone for pizza."

"Okay." Troy said.

"And we have fruit in the dish" He added and then handed him the pills the nurse had given him. "How are you feeling Ryan?"

"Better." Ryan mumbled. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. As long as you're okay." Jack smiled. "I'll see you two at home."

"Thanks dad." Troy said. "Come on, baby." Troy wrapped an arm around Ryan's waist and they headed back to the car. Troy hoped he would never have to see Ryan like that ever again, it hurt and scared him. All he wanted was for Ryan to be okay.


	15. Chapter 15

When they got home Ryan headed straight up to the bedroom and shut the door. Troy stared at the stairs wondering what to do. He wanted to follow Ryan upstairs and just hold him close, but a part of him wondered maybe if he should give Ryan some time. He guessed Ryan was upstairs crying and he really didn't want Ryan to go through any of this alone, so he walked up to his room, he knocked on the door.

"Go away." Ryan's voice was filled with emotion that broke Troy to the bone.

"Nope." Troy said softly through the wooden door.

"Please, I just... I want to be on my own." Ryan's voice was pleading.

"I don't want you to be on your own right now, Ry." Troy said gently. "I want to hug you and make sure you're okay." When there wasn't an answer Troy opened the door, there on the bed lying with his back against the door curled in himself was Ryan. Troy sat on the bed as gently as he could and spooned against him, wrapping his arms around Ryan who was reluctant to fall into him.

"Please, I don't want to be weak any more Troy." Ryan sobbed.

"Hey, hey." Troy said soothingly. "You're not weak."

"All I do is cry." Ryan sniffed as he turned around. Troy used his thumb to wipe away Ryan's tears. He left his hand on his cheek softly rubbing his skin.

"You're not weak." Troy promised. "You're my brave boy." Ryan shook his head defiantly.

"Weak."

"You're not weak I can promise you that." Troy said as he combed his fingers through Ryan's hair. "You are my brave boy."

"But..."

"No, you are." Troy smiled softly. "Want to hear a story?" He asked gently, Ryan nodded. "When I was six years old. I was playing basketball with my dad, and I was showing off in front of Chad and dribbled the ball under my leg. But I tripped and fell, I broke my leg in two places."

"Ouch." Ryan smiled slightly.

"Yeah ouch." Troy said as he continued to play with Ryan's hair. "I thought I was weak because I had seen Chad do it so many times and he never ever hurt himself. So I cried a lot because I figured Chad wouldn't want to be my friend because I was weak. So despite the doctors orders I tried to walk on my own and I fell and yeah I sprained my wrist."

"Clever." Ryan laughed.

"The point is, I thought I was weak and instead of letting my leg heal it's self I was determined to show myself and everyone else that I wasn't weak." Ryan looked at Troy a little confused. "You need to let yourself heal, and you need to cry and you need to get angry and I guess you need to panic, but one day you're going to stop crying, you're not going to get angry and you're not going to panic as much."

"But crying makes you weak." Ryan insisted.

"Why do you think that?" Troy asked softly.

"Brett told me so." Troy could have sworn Ryan sounded exactly like a small child and it killed him. He wrapped his arms tighter around Ryan and held him close.

"It doesn't make you weak, Ry. Crying makes you stronger because you're dealing with everything."

"I don't like crying." Ryan said softly.

"I don't like you crying either," Troy smiled weakly. "But one day you're going to stop crying and you're going to be able to smile. But until then I'll always wipe away your tears." Ryan couldn't help but laugh. "Too cheesy?"

"Just a little." Ryan smiled. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it." Troy smiled. Ryan leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek and snuggled closer.

"Troy..."

"Yeah, Ry?"

"I'm scared." Troy looked down at Ryan who was staring at him with wide eyes. "Brett's looking for me he was at my house."

"I wont let him hurt you ever again." Troy said and he knew it was a promise where to break it he would have to die first. "I'm not going to let any one hurt you ever again okay?"

"But what if he comes here?"

"Then I'll call the police and tell him where to go." Troy said, he knew he would do much more to Brett if he ever came near Ryan again. Ryan nodded and snuggled a little closer he felt safe in Troy's arms. "Come on down stairs."

"Why?"

"You need something to eat." Troy stated. Ryan nodded, he knew it would be no use arguing with Troy, not when the nurse had told him he had to make sure he had something to eat. "And don't forget if you ever feel like you're going to have a panic attack to take these." Troy said.

"Can you keep hold of them for me?" Ryan asked.

"Sure thing." Troy said and held out his hand for Ryan to take which he did and they made there way downstairs. Ryan sat at the table whilst Troy ordered for a pizza.

"I think the nurse said real food not take out." Ryan laughed. "I don't want to get fat."

"Ryan there's no flesh on your bones, it's going to take more than a few slices of pizza to make you fat." Troy said, "Eat an apple."

"Yes sir." Ryan laughed dryly as he grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl. "If I'm being forced to eat this rubbish then I think you should eat some fruit too. I mean it wouldn't kill you to eat some fruit every now and again."

"Fine." Troy said dramatically as he grabbed an apple too, he took a large bite and grinned. "Better?"

"Yes." Ryan smiled.

"Pizza will be here in half an hour, want to watch some television?" Troy asked and Ryan nodded. Troy sat down on the sofa and when Ryan sat next to him he put his arm around him holding him close.

"Thank you for today, Troy." Ryan said after a few minutes of silence as they let the television show absorb their attention.

"It's okay." Troy said as he linked his fingers with Ryan. "It really scared me. I didn't know what to do."

"You did the right thing," Ryan smiled. Troy looked down at him and smiled sheepishly. "I want you to know that... I'm... ready."

"Ready?" Troy asked a little confused.

"To be..." Ryan blushed. "With you."

"Ryan, it's okay if you're not I told you I can wait."

"I don't want to wait any more Troy." Ryan sighed. "I mean, I'm not saying I'm ready to sleep with you or anything like that."

"Good because I don't think I'm ready for that either." Troy smiled.

"But I'm ready to move on you know..."

"Yeah, I know." Troy smiled.

"So what now?" Ryan asked nervously.

"What ever you want. You're in charge here." Troy smiled, he couldn't describe how happy he was. He never thought that Ryan would be able to make him feel this happy.

"I think we should take it slow." Ryan said. "I like you a lot, and I owe you so much for everything you've done for me."

"You don't owe me anything, Ryan." Troy promised. Ryan smiled and leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. Even though they had kissed before, none of their kisses had ever been as long as this one. Troy kept to his promise and let Ryan control the kiss and when Ryan pulled away and snuggled back next to him, Troy let him because he was just happy that Ryan was finally ready to move on from what had happened. And even though he knew it was going to take time, he'd be there every step of the way, he'd be there.


	16. Chapter 16

That night Ryan slept soundly, there was no nightmares and when Troy thought that maybe his Ryan would wake up terrified he would gently rub a hand over his face and whisper soft soothing words to him. It worked because the only time Ryan woke up was when Troy's alarm was shrieking in his ears.

"I don't want to get up." Ryan groaned as he made an attempt to hide under the covers. Troy pretty much wanted to do the same but leaned over and switched off the alarm.

"Are you going school today?" Troy asked as he ran a hand through Ryan's hair.

"I think I should." Ryan said. "Moving on remember?"

"How could I forget?" Troy smiled as he leaned down to capture Ryan's lips in a soft kiss. Ryan smiled as he pulled away. "You want to shower first?" Ryan nodded and headed towards the bathroom, Troy smiled as he laid back on his bed just as his phone started to ring.

"Chad, what's up dude?" Troy grinned.

"Just checking to see if you and Ry were coming in today." Chad voice beamed in his ear.

"Yeah, we are." Troy smiled. "Thanks for yesterday."

"How's he doing?" Chad asked.

"Okay, I think. He's moving on."

"I take it the cheery part of your voice is trying to tell me who he's moving on with?" Chad laughed and Troy felt himself blush.

"Well I didn't mean to but yeah." Troy smiled. "I'm going to go and get dressed see you in a bit." Chad ended the call laughing and Troy got up and grabbed his clothes. There was a knock at the door and he called for it to open and his dad walked in a little surprised to see Ryan out of bed.

"He okay?" He asked.

"Yeah he's in the shower." Troy smiled.

"So he's going in today?" His dad frowned. "Do you think he'll be okay?"

"Hope so." Troy sighed.

"Well remind him if he doesn't feel up for it at any part of the day to go to my office, in fact I'll give him a spare key in case I'm not in there."

"Thanks dad." Troy smiled. "For everything, I mean you didn't really need to let him stay here."

"Course I did." Troy's dad laughed. "I see how much you two mean to each other."

"About that well we're..."

"Taking it slow I hope." His dad finished for him causing Troy to blush once more. "I'm glad you're happy, but you're mother likes that boy so don't hurt him."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Troy smiled. His dad nodded and headed out of the room. Troy started to get dressed.

A few minutes later a fully dressed Ryan walked into the room, he was still wearing Troy's jumper and Troy couldn't help but think it did look really good on him. "Alright?" Troy asked as he wrapped his arms around Ryan's waist lightly, there was enough space if he wanted to move away.

"Peachy." Ryan smiled as he placed a soft kiss on Troy's lips.

"So today you're only in my home room class." Troy said as he ran his fingers through Ryan's blond hair that was getting quite long now.

"I know, but I'll be okay." Ryan smiled. "And even if I'm not, I will be okay."

"Always." Troy smiled. "So about the calming tablets."

"I don't want to keep them on me, because what if I take too many?"

"You wont, I was thinking about giving you one?" Troy suggested. "They last a while and we only go an hour and a half each time without seeing each other, and if you need another one I can give it to you at break or lunch time?"

"Sounds okay, I guess." Ryan nodded as he thought it through. He didn't want to get addicted to the pills, he knew they had something in them to calm him down and that's what he had liked the pot for, and then that's what he loved the cocaine for. He didn't want to have to love another chemical just to feel calm.

"But you'll be okay." Troy smiled. "So shall we go downstairs and have some nice and healthy and totally disgusting fruit?"

"You'd make a great advert." Ryan laughed, they grabbed their bags and walked down stairs hand in hand.

"morning boys." Troy's mum smiled.

"Morning," Troy and Ryan chorused.

"Breakfast time." Troy's dad smiled as he handed Ryan and Troy a plate full of pancakes and fruit.

"Is it Christmas?" Troy laughed as he sat at the table next to Ryan who was staring at the food in what looked to be awe.

"No but the nurse said Ryan needs to eat more, and pancakes are not only delicious but can mix it with fruit."

"Thank you." Ryan smiled. "You didn't have to. I would have eaten the fruit with toast or something."

"Nonsense. This way we all get some." Troy's mum smiled. "Family breakfast, the four of us." Ryan grinned, he was part of the family. They ate their breakfast talking aimlessly to each other. Ryan made sure he ate most of the fruit first because he knew he would never be able to finish all of the pancakes as well.

"Ryan, Troy has basketball practice tonight so what would you like to do for the extra hour?" Troy's dad asked.

"I'll hang with Kelsi." Ryan answered once he swallowed the food.

"Okay. You're welcome to sit in my office or if you wanted to watch the practice that would be okay too."

"Thanks." Ryan smiled.

They finished breakfast and Ryan had managed to eat half of the pancakes and all of the fruit, no one questioned him about eating more but he did offer to wash up but was told to go to school by a smiling Mrs Bolton.

"She prefers you to me." Troy whined as he started the truck.

"Course she does." Ryan smiled as he sat next to Troy resting his head against his shoulder. "Why wouldn't she? I mean I am pretty darn good."

"And I'm not?" Troy pouted.

"You are, course. But just not as good as me." Ryan smiled. Troy grinned and they drove to school in silence but a comfortable silence.

Chad, Kelsi, Taylor and Gabriella were waiting for them. "Hey." Chad grinned. "Mr Evans."

"Mr Danforth." Ryan laughed. Chad hugged Ryan and Troy as did the girls.

"Dude you had pancakes!" Chad pouted.

"How do you know?" Troy laughed, he took Ryan's hand and smiled at him as they walked into school holding hands.

"You smell like blueberry syrup." Chad pouted. "You didn't bring me any."

"Ate them all." Troy laughed.

"And mind." Ryan cut in. "I swear basketball players have an empty fit for a stomach."

"And dancers don't eat so they can stay all flexible." Chad laughed.

"You've no idea how flexible I am." Ryan grinned and watched as Chad blushed. Troy and the girls laughed at Chad's expense.

"Bet Troy does." Chad grinned as it was Ryan's turn to blush.

"So you two are... finally admitting it?" Taylor asked.

"Finally admitting what?" Troy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"That you're a couple." Gabriella stated.

"Nothing final about it." Ryan said not liking her tone. "Only happened yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Gabriella asked surprised, even though she didn't really believe it.

"Yes, yesterday." Ryan said.

"So you weren't together before?" Gabriella asked.

"Gabby I told you all this." Troy sighed.

"I know but..."

"I didn't cheat on you." Troy stated. "So let it go."

"Okay. Sorry." Gabriella sighed. "I'm happy for you guys though."

"Mr Evans!" Ryan turned around when he heard Mrs Darbus call his name.

"Yeah?" Ryan asked as she walked towards him.

"Can I have a word in private please?"

"Erm okay." Ryan let go of Troy's hand reluctantly and followed her down the hall.

"What's going on?" Chad asked.

"Don't know, find out in home room I guess." Troy said and they all headed towards their home room eager to know what was happening with Ryan and Mrs Darbus.


	17. Chapter 17

Ryan walked into the room following Mrs Darbus and groaned inwardly when he saw Sharpay was there too. "Ryan, take a seat please. And you Sharpay." Sharpay did as she was told but looked as though she didn't want to either. "You two are family." Ryan stared at his teacher with what felt like anger in his eyes, Sharpay wasn't his family, not any more. "And if you're not going to accept that then that is fine, it's none of our business."

"Exactly, so why am I Hear?" Sharpay sighed.

"Because even though your life at home together is none of my business you two technically still are joint presidents of the drama club." Mrs Darbus looked from Sharpay to Ryan. "And we have a musical to plan."

"I don't want to be in it." Ryan said straight away.

"But Ryan, the theatre is your future." Mrs Darbus said softly. "Surely what happened over the summer shouldn't interfere with your dreams."

"You've no idea what happened over the summer." Ryan said flatly.

"You got kicked out Ryan, you came out news flash everyone knows!" Sharpay laughed.

"You honestly think that's what this is all about?" Ryan shouted, unaware that Troy and everyone else had arrived and were waiting outside and could hear what was being said.

"Well enlighten us then Ryan, because you came back this summer a complete fucking wreck."

"Well maybe that has something to do with the fact that my family kicked me out? Or how about moving in with someone you thought you loved and finding out they didn't give two shits about you."

"Mr Evans, calm down."

"No. I'm not going to calm down, you two can't bring me in hear and talk about musicals I could care less about."

"Ryan what happened?" Sharpay asked and for the first time she sounded genuinely concerned.

"Like you care." Ryan spat.

"Mr Evans, please calm down. I'm sorry I didn't realise you were this..."

"Fucked up?" Ryan laughed.

"Ryan." Troy's voice startled the three people in the room, but calmed the blond boy instantly.

"I don't want to be in the musical, or the drama club. Not now." Ryan said softly.

"Okay." Mrs Darbus smiled as Troy reached out for Ryan who fell in to the embrace. Mrs Darbus made an excuse and walked out of the room she could tell the three people in the room needed to talk in private.

"Ryan, I'm sorry." Sharpay sighed. Troy glared over at her, Ryan was already shaking he didn't need Sharpay right now. "I've been horrible."

"Understatement of the century." Ryan sighed.

"I know, but... I didn't want to be. You're my baby brother and I love you." Sharpay smiled.

"You were mean to me, Shar." Ryan said holding on tight to Troy. "You said things that hurt so much. Why would you say them? You knew I was gay all along. Why did you agree with everything dad said to me."

"Because he made me think it was wrong and I was scared that if I supported you I would get kicked out too." Sharpay said honestly. "Not any more, Ry. I've told them I wanted to talk to you, dad wasn't pleased but mum she's... worried about you." Ryan didn't say anything, he missed his family more than he had let on but he had a feeling Troy already knew. "Mum wants to see you Ry."

"I can't... I don't want to see her ever again." Ryan mumbled, not after everything she had called him.

"I get it, I do." Sharpay smiled slightly. "I know you hate me, but I am sorry and I miss you. I wish I could take this summer back."

"Me too." Ryan mumbled.

"Something happened didn't it?" Sharpay asked but she was looking over at Troy. "Something bad?" Troy just nodded, Ryan remained still. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. Not your fault." Ryan sighed, though he couldn't help but wonder if Sharpay had stuck up for him at home would his parents still have kicked him out... would he still have been...

"You okay?" Troy asked softly as he handed Ryan one of the tablets which he put in his mouth straight away.

"Yeah." Ryan mumbled and turned to Sharpay who was watching what was going on intently. "I'm sorry you thought you couldn't stick up for me. I mean I just hoped you would have. But you were horrible and I can't forgive you for anything you've done, not yet. I'm sorry, but just leave me alone." Sharpay for once didn't argue she looked at Troy and nodded and walked out.

Once the bell rang everyone filled into the room and Troy sat down next to Ryan who leant against him, waiting for the tablet to take affect. "You did good." Troy whispered in his ear.

"I did?" Ryan beamed.

"Yeah, my brave boy." Troy smiled and kissed him softly on the cheek.


	18. Chapter 18

It had been a long day; Troy had gone to basketball practice and Ryan had sat in the coaches office doing some of his homework. He thought back to everything that had happened and realised how much his life had changed; last year he had everything. Now he wasn't too sure what he had other than Troy. He guessed he had friends too which was something he didn't have much of except Kelsi, but now he had Kelsi, Chad, Gabriella and Taylor as well as Troy. He missed Sharpay; no matter what she had done she was still his sister, and best friend. He just couldn't forgive her not yet. Last year he had parents now he felt as though he didn't have any family. Not to mention an actual place to live; even though Troy's parents had welcomed him with open arms he still felt like a charity case, after all he only had two pairs of trousers and two tops. He needed to do something to make his life feel like it was his life.

He had been raped; it had hurt, he was emotionally broken and physically terrified to touch anyone or to be touched. He had only really just learned to be comfortable around Troy and his parents, but he couldn't still think of himself as a victim. What only knocks you down can only make you stronger. He smiled thinking he had officially moved on from what happened. Starting now he wasn't going to be poor Ryan the boy with nothing; not that people thought of him that way; but now he was going to be Ryan, just Ryan. The boy who was going to work for something stable in his life.

"What you thinking about?" Troy asked they were sat on Troy's bed, Ryan cuddled under Troy's arms. "You've been staring at a spot on my wall for half an hour."

"Oh." Ryan blushed, he hadn't thought he had been thinking that much. "I'm going to stop existing and I'm going to start living." Ryan declared.

"Erm... okay?" Troy asked slightly confused.

"I mean, I'm going to be okay again." Ryan laughed. "I'm going to do something for me." Ryan smiled.

"Yeah?" Troy asked with a smile. Maybe everything was going to get better now.

"I was thinking." Ryan said a little hesitantly.

"Ry.... what is it?" Troy asked softly, Ryan had a far away look in his eye.

"Don't laugh." Ryan begged.

"Scouts honour." Troy laughed.

"Well... I was thinking about getting a job." Ryan said after a while. To say Troy was surprised was an understatement. He hadn't actually ever thought about Ryan as the type of person who would ever have to work for anything in his life. Ever. "Well?"

"I think... are you sure?"

"You don't think I can do it?" Ryan asked a little dejected.

"No I do." Troy said quickly. "I just I've never thought about you actually working."

"Neither have I." Ryan laughed. "I never had to before. I always had everything."

"You don't need to get a job."

"I do." Ryan insisted. "Brett... he well he always said that I expected everything to be given to me on a plate."

"Brett was a bast...."

"Yeah I know." Ryan said cutting Troy off. "But he was right. I did always expect everything to go my way, I mean being poor and living with him was hard, I didn't have anything."

"But you're not poor or living with him any more." Troy said.

"I know, but he used to say I was scrounging off him. I was his private prostitute." Ryan mumbled. "He'd go out, get food if he could and well you know... and then if I wanted any of it I had to you know have sex with him or a blow job. And well here your parents are being nice, and you're being nice and none of you expect anything. But I want to give something."

"Hey I wouldn't mind a blow job." Troy said trying to joke, he succeeded because Ryan giggled. "But I'm not pushing you, I was just joking." Troy added. "I know you're not ready yet."

"You don't mind do you?" Ryan asked a little shaky. "I'd understand if you wanted me to do something for you."

"Ryan. Take your time, okay. I told you, when you're ready I'll be ready." Troy smiled. Ryan nodded. "So a job?"

"You think it's stupid don't you?" Troy could see the defeat in his boyfriends eyes and shook his head.

"I think it's a great idea. We'll go job hunting tomorrow yeah?"

"You don't have to I mean you got better things to do than walk around shops with me."

"Yes, but the things I have to do don't include you so I don't want to do them. I'd rather walk around shops with you."

"Thanks." Ryan smiled, he leaned up and kissed Troy softly. "You're the best boyfriend, ever."

"Not so bad yourself." Troy smiled kissing Ryan again.


	19. Chapter 19

"What about this one?" Troy asked pointing to a sports clothes shop that was advertising jobs. Ryan frowned; he knew nothing of sports. "Okay," Troy laughed looking at his boyfriend's face. "Come on, the mall is a pretty big place, we'll find some where."

"Maybe I'm not supposed to work." Ryan huffed.

"Evans weren't born to work." Troy reminded him. "I know this is hard for you, but I want you to know that I'm proud of you."

"You are?" Ryan blushed.

"Very much so." Troy smiled. "Come on, I'm sure there were jobs going in the clothes store." Troy squeezed Ryan's hands and then pulled him to the discount clothing store.

Troy waited outside the store as Ryan spoke to the manager who was in the shop; the manager seemed rather excited that someone had wanted the job; apparently it bad been in the window two weeks and no one had come asking. Ryan skipped out of the shop smiling.

"So?" Troy smiled.

"I'm a working boy." Ryan declared. "They get really busy so he's taking me on even though I have no experience. But he said I look like I know how to dress, so yeah I got the job. And not to mention the uniform really isn't that bad, and I get discount on discount clothes!" Ryan grinned excitedly.

"That's great babe," Troy grinned, he kissed Ryan on the lips. "I'll buy you a cup cake to celebrate."

"Oh a kiss and a cupcake." Ryan chuckled. "You spoil me." Troy laughed, he loved it when Ryan was in a good mood. They headed to the cake stand and Troy brought a box of cupcakes so he had some more at home as well.

"So when do you start?" Troy asked, he linked an arm around Ryan's waist and they walked out of the mall.

"Next Saturday," Ryan smiled. "Nine till two."

"What am I going to do?" Troy pouted, he had gotten used to hanging around with Ryan all the time.

"Call Chad? Get a game going?" Ryan suggested. "What ever you did before I came a knocking." Ryan said in a sing song voice.

"It's going to be weird." Troy mused as he started his truck.

"I know, we've not been apart for five hours in like three weeks." Ryan laughed.

"Not complaining are you?" Troy asked.

"Definitely not." Ryan smiled. "But you get that I have to do this right?"

"Yeah I get it. And I'm glad you're happy."

"I am too." Ryan smiled. "You're parents don't mind me staying do they?"

"No, they love having you with us." Troy promised. "You're like the polite son my mum's always wanted."

"And instead she got a ill mannered jock." Ryan chirped. Troy rolled his eyes as he laughed and they drove home.

When they arrived home, Mr and Mrs Bolton were sat in the living room. "Where did you two go?" Troy's mum asked curiously.

"Ryan went to get a job." Troy smiled.

"A job?" Mr Bolton asked a little shocked.

"I got one too!" Ryan grinned.

"Oh that's great, where is it?" Troy's mum asked, she patted the sofa for Ryan to sit down which he did.

"See Troy that's how you were meant to react," Ryan laughed.

"I was shocked." Troy sighed.

"So, where is it?" Troy's mum asked again.

"The discount clothing store in the mall." Ryan shrugged. "I just... I wanted to get money to do something nice for you all."

"Oh Ryan, you really didn't need to." Troy's mum said straight away. "We love having you here."

"Of course we do." Jack chimed in.

"I know, and I'm grateful like really grateful." Ryan smiled. "I just... it's something I just got to do I guess."

"We wont stand in your way, son." Troy's dad smiled and Ryan couldn't help but grin. Troy's dad called him son!

"So do we get a discount?" His mum chuckled, pulling Ryan closer to her under her arm, something she hadn't been able to do when she first met him.

"Course. That was the first question I asked." Ryan grinned.

Troy sat with Ryan on the bed, they were both doing their homework and talking amongst each other. "This is way too hard." Ryan sighed, he and Troy were doing their maths work together.

"I know but the sooner we get it done the quicker we can sleep." Troy offered Ryan a smile.

"Hmm." Ryan sighed. It took them another twenty minutes to finish the work, and then Ryan smiled proudly and leaned against Troy.

"Well that's that." Troy grinned throwing his book on the floor causing Ryan to tut.

"You're so messy." Ryan smiled, Troy simply shrugged. "So we should watch a film or something."

"Yeah. You can choose." Troy smiled, Ryan headed over to the films as Troy cleared his bed, he made sure to put Ryan's book neatly on his side.

"This one!" Ryan grinned and grabbed the Simpsons movie. Troy gave him a funny look to which Ryan replied "Dude it's your dvd!"

"Actually it's Chad's." Troy laughed but grabbed the film and put it on, during the adverts they got changed for bed and then under the covers.

As they watched the film Ryan snuggled close to Troy who held him tight as he played with his hair. "Thank you." Ryan whispered.

"For what?" Troy asked staring down at Ryan who was looking up at him with something close to awe in his eyes. Ryan just shrugged he leant up and kissed Troy softly on the lips.

"Just being you." Ryan smiled kissing him again.


	20. Chapter 20

Three months passed and Ryan could finally say that he was happy. He had a loving boyfriend, a loving family – he no longer cared that the family he called his own consisted of Troy and his parents and a great group of friends. Every now and again he would miss his actual family but then Troy's dad would call him son, Troy's mum would cook him a fantastic meal, and Troy would kiss him reminding him that nothing else mattered. He had made things up with Sharpay, they weren't best friends and their relationship wasn't as tight as it once was, but they talked and in some cases even went shopping together. Ryan loved his job, and he was glad that he now had more than two pairs of jeans and two clean tops, even though something of Troy's was always with him, at work it was one of his wrist bands but at school and around the house it was always one of his jumpers. Ryan had made Troy wear the jumper he had borrowed that first night for a week because his smell had gone. Troy didn't argue he smiled and wore the jumper making sure it smelt of him again before giving it to Ryan.

"Troy," Ryan smiled at his boyfriend who was doing his home work next to him, Ryan had made it a habit to do his work straight away because he couldn't do it on the nights he worked.

"Yeah, baby?" Troy asked looking up from his maths work.

"Will you help me do something for your parents?" Ryan asked, after all that was one of the reasons why he had got the job in the first place, so he could repay his new family. He already knew how he was going to repay Troy and hopefully that was going to be on the same night as his family.

"Sure." Troy grinned. "What have you got planned?"

"Well... I sort of have been saving up to show them just how much they mean to me." Ryan began. "Well I was wondering if I could get them tickets to a basketball game, I know your dad would love that."

"He would!" Troy smiled enthusiastically. "but the tickets are expensive."

"It doesn't matter." Ryan smiled. "And like before or after depending on the time maybe a romantic meal together at a nice restaurant?" Ryan asked. "I mean your mum would like that too."

"Yeah she would, but you really don't have to do it."

"I know, but I just want to and your mum isn't taking any money for me staying here."

"My mum doesn't want it your family, Ry."

"I know and families do nice things for each other, so I'm just repaying them." Ryan smiled. "So I need your help with you know the basketball tickets."

"Okay we'll go on line now." Ryan smiled in thanks and they headed over to the computer. Troy booked the tickets for a Friday night, the game was at six thirty and would be finished for nine and Ryan said that they could have the meal after, because in his mind he didn't want them home too early.

"Okay, so this Friday." Troy smiled. "My mum's going to hate you and love you for this."

"And your dad?" Ryan asked nervously.

"Dad's going to love you, and pretend to hate you when really he'll be excited about the game." Troy laughed. Ryan grinned and told Troy to do his homework so they can cuddle and watch a film before bed.

-x-

Ryan had prepared everything, he booked Friday off and was looking forward to giving everything to Troy. It had been five months since he had been raped, and he knew he would never really be over it, even though he didn't think about it every day it was still part of him but he knew Troy wouldn't hurt him. So he was going to make Friday special for both of them, as well as Troy's parents.

When Friday came around and Ryan had told his new parents what he had done, Troy was right. His mum had frowned saying he really didn't need to do that but thanked him, and his dad was extremely excited which caused Ryan to smile, he knew he had done the right thing. So when they had left, he had headed to the kitchen and he pulled out the takeaway he had secretly ordered from an Italian takeaway and put it in the microwave. It wasn't exactly romantic, but as Troy played video games, Ryan lit the candles on the table and made the room look a little more romantic. When it was done he served the food and placed the plates next to each other and grabbed the rose he had brought along with the takeaway and put it in a vase. He smiled at his own cheesiness but called Troy in.

"Ryan... you did... wow." Troy was slightly amazed that Ryan had done this without him knowing.

"Like it?" Ryan asked nervously. Their relationship was not exactly romantic, after all a date for them was dinner at a fast food place and trip to the cinema or staying in and just being with each other.

"I love it." Troy grinned. Ryan smiled and held out Troy's seat. "A true gentleman, mum will be pleased." Troy joked causing Ryan to chuckle, he sat next to him. Troy took his hand on top of the table. "So what's the occasion?"

"Do I need an occasion to show you how much I care?" Ryan asked.

"No." Troy blushed.

"Well I sort of just wanted to say thank you." Ryan smiled. "And... well... tonight I was hoping..." He was blushing now, he couldn't really find the words he wanted to say. "I wanted to show you how much you mean to me. And well I guess I'm ready."

Troy was silent for a moment, he took in Ryan's words and smiled. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. I know you're not going to hurt me." Ryan said strongly.

"Never." Troy promised. Ryan smiled and they started to eat, both anxious about what was going to happen later that night.

-x-

After they finished their dinner, Ryan and Troy cleaned up the kitchen Troy took the vase with the rose in and put it in his room once they headed upstairs. "Tonight was amazing, Ry." Troy smiled as he wrapped his arms around Ryan's waist.

"I'm glad you liked it." Ryan smiled, he had been extremely nervous about whether or not Troy would like it.

"Loved it." Troy said, he leaned in and captured Ryan's mouth in a slow kiss. Tongues melted with each others and they held each other. Neither one wanted to break the kiss but when they needed air, Troy was the first to break it. Breathing heavy they stared into each other's eyes.

"Are you sure you want this?" Troy asked as Ryan pulled him onto the bed.

"More than anything else." Ryan said as he kissed Troy again, this time the kiss was a little more desperate, showing Troy just how much he wanted it.

Troy laid back so Ryan was on top, they kissed for what felt like hours because there was no need to rush this, tonight was about taking things slow. Tonight was about them and making love. Ryan kissed along Troy's jaw line, he slowly took off Troy's shirt smiling at the chest he knew so well. He kissed patterns along his muscles, and tweaked his nipples with his fingers loving the noises Troy was making. Troy wrapped his arms around Ryan and turned so he was on the bottom. Troy did the same to Ryan; kissing, licking and biting patterns along the pale white skin he loved. When Troy got to Ryan's trousers he looked up at him, as though he was making sure this is what Ryan wanted. When the blond boy nodded Troy nervously undid Ryan's zip, slowly pulling the tight jeans down. He stared at the proud erection through Ryan's trousers. Troy took off his trousers too and leaned against Ryan kissing him softly as they moved their bodies together creating the perfect friction.

"You're amazing," Troy whispered as he ran his hands between their bodies.

Ryan stared up at Troy and smiled. He wasn't scared like he was the last time he had been in this position, Troy's touch was perfect and made him feel at ease with everything. Troy slowly started to pull down Ryan's underwear, when Ryan was completely naked Troy pulled down his too, kicking them on the floor with the rest of their clothes. They rubbed against each other again, skin on skin making their bodies burn with passion and desire.

"I need you in me..." Ryan moaned, because he was close. Far too close and he didn't want this to be over yet. Troy nodded suddenly nervous. "Lube is in the draw." Ryan smiled, he had brought it specially for tonight. Troy nodded silently grabbing the lube and condoms.

"I don't..." Troy blushed.

Ryan smiled. "It's okay," He smiled again, it was Troy's first time having sex with another man and Ryan understood his nerves. He rolled the condom on Troy who moaned slightly at the touch. Ryan opened the lube and sat back, he grabbed a pillow and put it under his hips. ."Do this, okay," Ryan said he put some lube on his fingers and pushed against his hole. Troy moaned at the sight but nodded and put lube on his fingers, he followed Ryan's fingers and rubbed against him. Ryan moaned at the touch, pushing on Troy's fingers. Troy added two more fingers, moving them around slightly. "Okay, stop..." Ryan breathed heavy. "Need you in me now."

Troy didn't say anything, he just put more lube on his hand and then rubbed it over his leaking cock, he moved slightly so he could push in easier. When Ryan felt the head of Troy's cock at his entrance he pushed forward eagerly as Troy pushed in. It hurt, and Ryan screwed his eyes shut. He was scared now. He was full and complete and Troy was perfect but he couldn't... his mind was flashing back and he was breathing heavy.

"Ry..." Troy said noticing Ryan's shaking body. "Ryan open your eyes please." Troy begged. He didn't want this to happen. When Ryan opened his eyes, Troy smiled. "It's just me, baby. Just me."

"Troy?" Ryan breathed.

"Yeah baby, it's me okay. I'm not going to hurt you." Troy said it took a lot of effort not to move. Ryan was hot and tight around him, and it was impossible.

"Sorry..."

"Want me to stop?" Troy asked as he moved his hips just a little. Ryan shook his head.

"Make it feel good again, Troy." Ryan pleaded. Troy nodded and took one of Ryan's hands and held it as he slowly started to move in and out.

Within a few thrusts Ryan was moaning in pleasure as Troy discovered Ryan's prostate, once the basketball captain realised the pleasure it caused he made an effort to hit against it with every thrust. Troy was breathing hard and moaning loudly, Ryan felt incredible. They were moving together and Troy took Ryan's cock in his hand and started to pump it in time with his thrusts causing Ryan to moan and push against him harder.

"Troy... I'm going to..." Ryan moaned Troy's name loudly as his body shook with orgasm, his toes curled as he experienced pure bliss shooting his hot seed over his chest and Troy's hand. Troy rode Ryan through his orgasm, watching his lover so high made Troy come hard inside Ryan. Once he came down from his own orgasm he collapsed on top of Ryan and slipped out of him gently.

"Mm..." Ryan sighed as he rolled over so he was wrapped around Troy, not caring about the mess he was causing, they could shower lately.

"You were amazing." Troy smiled. "You okay?"

"Perfect." Ryan smiled. "Sorry about..."

"Don't be. You were amazing." Troy repeated, he kissed Ryan softly on his lips and watched as Ryan slowly fell asleep in his arms.

Troy stared at the wall in front of him and smiled. Ryan had finally finished the picture of them, it was fully coloured and framed so Troy could see it when ever he woke up. He smiled. Under the picture was photo's of the two together, some with their friends, over on their own. Troy couldn't help but grin, they looked so in love and he smiled at the sleeping boy in his arms and he just knew that they were going to be that much in love with each other for the rest of their lives. Because with each other they finally got their happy ever after.

**The End.**


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